本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
2、wiki.spcnwiki.top/zh（维基镜像站）
南方公园第28季第5集
屎诞快乐
The Crap Out
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
2、wiki.spcnwiki.top/zh（维基镜像站）
本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
*我要去南方公园 快乐似神仙* I'm going down to South Park gonna have myself a time
*灿烂笑脸随处见 邻里谦虚无欺骗* Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation
*我要去南方公园 烦恼抛一边* Going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind
*日夜停车不用愁 嘘寒问暖把你念* Ample parking day or night, people spouting "howdy neighbor!"
*我要去南方公园 看我爽翻天* Heading on up to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind
*波霸妹子把手牵 咪咪大到我疯癫* I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
*快来南方公园 与朋友见个面* Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine
过去这几个月真的... The past few months have just been...
非常糟糕 really awful.
有海关移民局的突袭 There were these ICE raids
我爸的公司也倒闭了 and my dad's company went out of business.
然后我们失去了房子 不得不 Then we lost our house and had to move
和爷爷一起搬进养老院 into the old folks home with my grandpa.
就好像我身边的一切都变了 It's like everything keeps changing
而我完全不知道怎么适应这些变化 and I really don't know how to cope with it.
嗯哼 那你对这些破事的变化是怎么想的呢 老弟？ Uh-huh. And how exactly do you feel like shit has changed, bro?
唉 耶稣 好像人们已经 Well, Jesus, It just seems like
不像以前一样善良和乐于分享了 people aren't really as kind and giving
你觉得呢？ as they used to be, you know?
比如说 我正在思考怎么分享刚从 Like, I just got some money from Saudi Arabia
沙特阿拉伯那得到的钱 and I'm thinking of sharing it.
因为我觉得这正是现在每个人都需要的 'Cause I feel like that's what everyone needs right now.
就像 一个巨大的圣诞奇迹？ Like, a big Christmas miracle?
听起来像那种社会主义的屁话 兄弟 Sounds like some socialist bullshit to me, bro.
耶稣 我不想继续住在 Jesus, I don't wanna live
养老院里了 好吗？ in an old folks home anymore, OK?
我不知道是什么让你变成这样的 Now, I don't know what's made you change like this
但是我们需要来点他妈的圣诞奇迹！ but we need some God damn Christmas magic!
嘿 宝贝 我给我们带了一些灰皮诺酒！ Hey, baby, I brought us some Pinot Grigio!
你咋这么晚才到？ What took you so long?
不要生气嘛 --我只是出去做我的慈善工作了！ Don't be mad--I was out doing my charity work!
我是个基督徒 I'm a Christian
所以我会为有需要的人唱歌！ so I sing to people in need!
闭上你的臭嘴 把酒给我得了 Just shut up and pour me that shit.
你想让你的生活变得更好吗 斯坦？ You wanna make your life better, Stan?
※Join the club是美国俚语 意为“我们也一样”
大家不都一样！ Join the frickin' club!
每年的这个时候 我们都希望事情能变得更好 This is the time of year we all wish things were better.
但是相信我 没人的身上 But trust me, nothing miraculous
能够发生奇迹 is gonna happen to anyone.
*婴儿车已装饰好* The crib is decorated
*婴儿房也已完善* And the nursery's all planned
*我把冬青放在尿布上 倾注所有美真善* I put holly on the diapers With all the love I can
*闪闪装饰小梦想* Tiny dreams in tinsel glow
*没有什么比* What's more special than
*圣诞新生儿还要赞* A new baby at Christmas time
距离美国迎接特朗普总统的 Only days remain until America meets
魔鬼后代只剩几天了 President Trump's demon spawn.
我们仍不清楚撒旦将如何生下这个屁股宝宝 How Satan will give birth to the butt baby is still unclear
但我们都知道一场“喷射”即将到来 but everyone knows the crap-out is coming.
*戴上湿巾槲寄生* Don the wipes and mistletoe
*要做的太多了* There's so much to be done
*等分娩开始我们蛋酒可可一起喝* We'll drink eggnog and cocoa when labor has begun
*开心理由真不少 而我的最爱的是* So many reasons to be glad, and I'll be having one
*圣诞新生儿要出生了* A new baby at Christmastime
*我和他的父亲会给他很多爱* I will love the baby and so will its dad
*我们会*...等等 We will be so... Wait a minute.
他死哪去了？ Where the hell is he?
唐纳德？ Donald?
唐纳德！ Donald!
唐纳德在哪？ Where is Donald?
噢 抱歉 撒旦 Oh, sorry, Satan.
总统因为一些要务不得不飞去 The President had to fly to Colorado
科罗拉多州了 on an urgent matter.
要务？你现在是认真的吗？ An urgent matter? Are you serious right now?
我告诉过他今天是 I told him this was the day
我们要唱歌然后装饰婴儿房的日子！ we were going to sing songs and decorate the nursery!
他能做什么比这更紧急的事？ What is he doing that's more urgent than that?
抱歉 这是高度机密 Sorry, it's all high-level classified stuff.
连我们也没有权限知道他在做什么 Even we don't have clearance to know what he's doing.
他真是个人渣！ He is such a piece a shit!
他总是这么对我！ He does this to me all the time!
宝宝马上就要出生了 而他甚至都不在我们身边！ I'm about to have this baby, and he's out fucking around!
孕期激素 对吧？ Hormones, huh?
奇怪的是 总统甚至都没告诉我 It is strange that the President hasn't
他为什么要去科罗拉多州 even informed me why he's going to Colorado.
嗯 总统说这是顶级机密 Well, the President said it's top secret
只有副总统能够知道 and only he and the vice president can know.
不管他们在做什么... Whatever they're doing...
肯定是极密军事行动的一部分 must be part of an extremely covert military operation.
圣诞快乐！ Merry Christmas!
放松 大伙们！ Relax, guy!
嘿嘿嘿！放松 大伙！ Hey-hey-hey! Relax, guy!
好的 老板 这就是那个地方 OK, Boss, this is the place.
那里就是我们要找的警察局 That is the police station over there.
那就是他们关押彼得·蒂尔的地方 That's where they are keeping Peter Thiel.
好的 我们需要小声行事 All right, we just gotta keep it quiet.
没人能知道我想要杀了宝宝 - 噢！ Nobody can know I want to kill this baby--ope!
圣诞快乐！嘿-嘿-嘿！ Merry Christmas! Hey-hey-hey!
放松！ Relax!
你确定这个彼得·蒂尔能做到吗？ Are you sure this Peter Thiel can do it?
是的 老板 Yes, Boss.
但我们需要想个办法把他从 But we must find a way to break him out
-警察局里救出... -嘘 嘘 嘘 嘘 -of that police... -Shh, shh, shh, shh.
节日快乐！ Happy holidays!
嘿-嘿-嘿！ Hey-hey-hey!
噢 我很抱歉 我没有一点零钱了 好吗？ Oh, I'm sorry, I don't have any spare change, mkay?
政府削减了学校的经费 The government cut school funding
所以我丢掉了我的工作 so I lost my job.
然后 你知道的 在哪些关税的压力下 Then, you know, everything costs more
什么东西都变得更贵了 而我的医疗保险也被取消了 with all the tariffs, and my health care got cut
所以我正像很多其他的美国人一样挣扎着活着 so I'm just struggling like a lot of Americans are.
好吧 额 圣诞快乐！ All right, well, Merry Christmas!
我们最好快点 老板 We better hurry, Boss.
镇上很可能已经察觉到我们了 The town might be onto us
而孩子可能在任何时候被拉出来 and the crap-out could be any minute now.
好 那我们对一下表 OK, let's synchronize our watches.
是时候执行虎毒食子计划了！ It's time to complete Operation Kill My Own Baby!
*我会在圣诞节回到家* I'll be home for Christmas
※此处演唱的为经典圣诞歌曲 《I'll be home for Christmas》
*哪怕这只是我的美梦 圣诞节的美梦* If only in my dreams, my dreams, my holiday dreams
大家好啊 各位老头老太太 我是佩吉 洛克巴顿 Hello, seniors, I'm Peggy Rockbottom
前来分享一些节日祝福 here to spread a little holiday cheer.
你懂的 有时我们会忘记圣诞节的初衷 You know, sometimes we forget the reason for the season.
但世上只有一个人能走进我的心 But there's only one man in my life
那个男人就是耶稣基督 and that man is Jesus Christ.
我为他写了一首歌 And I wrote this song for him.
*我信仰基督 我将恪守本分* A Christian woman knows her place
*如果你愿意 巴掌朝我脸抡* So go ahead and punch me in the face
*这都是我活该 我罪有应得* 'Cause I deserve it, I was wrong
*所以我们在此 共唱圣诞歌* That's why I wrote this holiday song
*用我大大的假胸 注射的双唇* With my big fake tits and my Botox lips
*说着圣诞快乐 基督永存* Saying merry Christmas, Jesus Christ
来吧 各位老头老太太 跟我一起唱吧 Come on, seniors, sing along!
*我信仰基督 我将恪守本分* A Christian woman knows her place
*如果你愿意 巴掌朝我脸抡* So go ahead and punch me in the face
*这都是我活该 我罪有应得* 'Cause I deserve it, I was wrong
*所以我们在此 共唱圣诞歌* That's why I wrote this holiday song
*用我大大的假胸 注射的双唇* With my big fake tits and my Botox lips
*说着圣诞快乐 基督永存* To say merry Christmas, Jesus Christ
我不知道你是否能听见我的呼唤 I don't know if you can hear me
但我始终祈求着圣诞奇迹的发生 but I've been kind of wishing for a Christmas miracle.
若奇迹终将降临世间 If miracles can still even happen
听到我的呼唤 就请在此刻现身吧 please, make it happen now.
耶咦 Yay!
大家快看啊 是小斯坦！ Look, guys, it's Stanny!
小斯坦！ Stanny!
噢 不！ Oh, no!
-你想念我们吗 斯坦？-哦 不！ -Did you miss us, Stan? -Oh, no!
那个该死的贱人 That son of a bitch.
我随时可能生产 I could give birth any minute.
“噢 嘿 撒旦 你是不是快要生了” "Oh, hey, Satan, you about to go into labor?
“好的 那所有家务都你包了 "OK, how about you go do everything
我屁事不做“ and I'll do nothing?"
噢 是啊 打的好算盘 唐纳德！你一直以来都是这副德行 Oh, yeah, great idea, Donald! Just like you always do.
呃 神啊 他真的好恶心 Ugh. God, he is so disgusting.
呃 他简直是一头猪！ Ugh, he's such a pig!
一条蓝色三角丁字裤？ A blue jock strap?
他没穿过蓝色三角丁字裤 He doesn't wear a blue jock strap.
这是谁的？ Who does this belong to?
万斯 Vance.
是万斯的 It's Vance.
他们在一起了 They're together.
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
他们正在密谋处理掉你的孩子 They just wanna kill the baby.
你说什么？ What?
总统先生 和万斯 激烈的性爱 The President...Vance... so much sex.
我听不清你说的 因为你身上 I can't understand you 'cause you're covered
都是牛奶渍！ in dried-up milk!
那不是牛奶 It's not milk.
恶心 Eww!
哦 Oh!
哦！谢天谢地！哦 感谢万能的神啊！ Oh, thank God! Oh, thank God!
把你知道的一切都告诉我！ Tell me everything you know!
我会的 但是 先让我 求你了 I will, but first... please...
我需要先 快活一下 一下就好 I need to get... just a little high.
离我远点！ Go away!
你们这些家伙想要干嘛？ What do you guys want?
呃 你没听说吗 斯坦？ Well, didn't you hear, Stan?
撒旦要生下一个敌基督宝宝了！ Satan's gonna give birth to the antichrist!
是啊 他屁股里怀了个宝宝 Yeah, he's gonna have a butt baby
马上就要被拉出来了！ and there's gonna be a big crap-out!
没人比我们更喜欢宝宝拉出来了！ And nobody loves a crap-out more than us!
等我思考一下 等下 等下 Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait.
这不科学啊！ This doesn't make any sense!
你们不过是卡特曼脑中 You guys are just something that Cartman made up
幻想的产物！ in his head!
呃 拉宝宝的事想那么多干嘛 Aww, are you really gonna overanalyze a crap-out?
就是！拉宝宝可不归牛顿管！ No way! Crap-outs have no rules!
就是! Yay!
好了 总的来说 斯坦希望我们能够 All right, y'all, Stan wished us here
来这里帮助黑暗之主 所以我们会实现他的愿望 to help the Prince of Darkness, so we gotta do what he says.
我可没说过这个！ I didn't wish for that!
我对撒旦和这个拉出来的孩子 I didn't know anything about Satan having a baby
根本一无所知 or crap-outs.
但你想要一个圣诞奇迹啊 斯坦 But you asked for a Christmas miracle, Stan!
等宝宝拉出来后 一切都会好起来的！ And this crap-out's gonna make everything better!
真的吗？你们确定吗？ It is? Are you sure?
千真万确！拉出来的就是最好的！ Of course! Crap-outs are the best!
来吧！我们开始吧！ Come on! Let's get to it!
出发吧！ Yay!
噢 真的好久没碰这玩意了 Oh, it's been so long.
所以那个副总统万斯 So then Vice President Vance
他不想要你生下孩子 对吧？ he doesn't want you to have the baby, right?
因为他觉得这个孩子会影响到 'Cause he thinks your baby is gonna hurt
他成为总统的机会 his chances of becoming president.
所以他说服了特朗普去试着自己摆脱这个孩子 So he convinces Trump to try to get rid of the baby himself
但是他的每一次尝试都被联邦通信委员会及时阻止了 but every time he tries, he gets blocked by the FCC.
如果他真的不想要这个孩子 为什么他不和我说呢？ If he didn't want the baby, why didn't he tell me?
他不能让任何人知道他想摆脱这个小孩 They couldn't let anyone know they wanted to get rid
因为 你知道的 共和党对堕胎的态度之类的... of the baby because, you know, Republicans, abortions--
这会看起来很难看 it's a bad look.
所以万斯让他的同伙彼得·蒂尔 So then Vance gets this guy Peter Thiel
去处理这个孩子 而在蒂尔准备去执行时 to get rid of the baby, and Thiel's about to come do it
帕姆·邦迪突然发现 when Pam Bondi suddenly finds out
有人要谋杀这个孩子 there's a plot to kill the baby.
这太疯狂了 老兄 写小说都没这么写的 So crazy, man. You can't write this shit.
我当初到底看上他什么了？ What did I ever see in him?
所以 总统对万斯很生气 So then The President, he's pissed off at Vance.
他说 你一直都在欺骗我 但是万斯说 He says, you've been lying to me, but Vance says
我只是想保护你 I was just trying to protect you
然后他们就开始一次又一次地 and then they start having sex
做爱还有做爱还有做爱... over and over and over and over---
够了！ Enough!
总统欺骗了我 The president hath deceived me.
他欺骗了我们所有人 He hath deceived us all.
而我要让他付出代价 And I shall make him pay.
就是就是 兄弟 我们一起去把那个混蛋揍一顿吧 Oh, hell yeah, man. Let's go get that motherfucker.
多么特别的时刻 这是个特别的日子 What a special time, it's a special day
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
2、wiki.spcnwiki.top/zh（维基镜像站）
本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
2、wiki.spcnwiki.top/zh（维基镜像站）
本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
是森林小动物圣诞节 It's a Woodland Critter Christmas
拉出来！ Crap-out!
嘿！圣诞快乐！ Hey! Merry Christmas!
-圣诞快乐！-节日快乐！别多想 大伙！ -Merry Christmas! -Happy Holidays! Relax, guy!
你好 我们是救世军的人！ Hello, we're with the Salvation Army!
我们为你们的囚犯们带了些食物！ We brought some food for your prisoners!
-给囚犯的食物？-嘿 别多想 大伙！ -Food for the prisoners? -Hey, relax, guy!
现在正是一年中最该乐善好施的时候！ This is the time of year to give to the needy!
-我们给他们带了这个蛋糕！-我们可不需要你们的蛋糕！ -We brought 'em this cake! -We don't need your cake!
总统迟早会来的 而他会救我们出--啊！ The president's gonna come for us, and he's gonna--oof!
好吧 我猜一个蛋糕也不会坏事 Well, I guess there's no harm.
米奇 放他们进去吧 Mitch, let 'em in.
嘿 谢谢 伙计！ Hey, thanks, buddy!
*我们正前去 迎接拉出来的宝宝* We're headin' for a crap-out
*拉出来 拉出来* Crap-out, crap-out
*我们闻到了将要拉出来的味道* We smell a crap-out comin' soon
*别把这想得太复杂 只需要狠狠地拉出来就行* Don't take the hard route Just get to the crap-out
*撒旦马上要把他从肛门子宫里拉出来了* Satan's gonna crap out his anal womb
好的 你们先停停 OK, hold on a second.
你们说撒旦现在在华盛顿 You said that Satan was in Washington, D.C.
对 他确实在华盛顿 而现在他马上要出现在这里了！ Yeah, he was, and now he's about to be here!
但是你们是怎么知道的？ But how can you know that?
噢 拜托 小斯坦 你能不能快点接受 Oh, for Pete's sake, Stanny, will you just get on board
这个脱出的事实？ with the crap-out already?
别担心 小斯坦 Don't worry, Stanny.
一切都已经被预言到了 没有什么能够 Everything has been foretold and nothing can stop
阻止敌基督的到来 the antichrist from coming.
除非 当然了 除非彼得·蒂尔掺和进来！ Except, of course, for Peter Thiel!
彼彼彼 彼得·蒂尔！ P-P-P-Peter Thiel!
等等 你们是说那个把67挂在嘴边的家伙？ Wait, you mean the six seven guy?
你认识彼得·蒂尔吗？ You know Peter Thiel?
是的 他在我们学校搞了一个很傻逼的大集会 Yeah, he did a big dumb assembly at the school.
他在这吗？ He's here?
你准备怎么做 小斯坦？ What are you gonna do, Stanny?
你打算把他活剥生吞了吗？ Are you gonna kill him and eat him?
好吧 听着 All right, look.
如果要我支持某件事情 If I'm gonna get on board with something
我需要它至少符合点逻辑 I need it make at least a little bit of sense.
额 好吧 苏珊·桑塔格 我们会保证一切 Well, OK, Susan Sontag, we'll make sure
※美国作家 艺术家 被誉为”美国公众的良心“
都为你对齐颗粒度的 it all lines up perfectly for ya.
是的！ Yay!
彼得·蒂尔呼叫红龙 Peter Thiel to Red Dragon.
接入吧 红龙 Come in, Red Dragon.
继续 各位 这里是红龙 Go ahead, guy. This is Red Dragon.
我从蛋糕里拿到对讲机了 I got the walkie in the cake.
等待进一步指示中 Awaiting further instructions.
非常好 Excellent.
你先待命 我们会找到把你救出去的方法的 Just stand by, and we'll find a way to get you out
然后你就可以杀掉我的孩子了 so you can kill my baby.
我们先对一下表 Let's synchronize our watches.
唐纳德！ Donald!
啊噢 Uh-oh.
你骗了我 You have lied to me.
撒旦！我们只是在这做些慈善工作！ Satan! We were just doing some charity work!
是吧 我可不这么认为！ Yeah, I don't think so!
我把你们精心策划的阴谋的每一个细节都告诉了撒旦 I told Satan every detail of your expertly-crafted plot.
老板 那不是你的射精巾吗！ Boss, it's your cum rag!
我一直陪着你 而你们俩就这样 I stayed with you while you two are fucking
偷偷私通？ behind my back?
唐纳德告诉你他有生殖器疣了吗？ Did Donald tell you he has genital warts?
嘿 别在意这些 伙计 Hey, relax there, guy.
看 他在那儿 Look, there he is!
是撒旦！ It's Satan!
耶！ Yay!
正如预言所言！ Just as the prophecy foretold!
毛巾巾？这到底怎么回事？ Towelie? What's going on?
这可是你所见过的 What's going on is the most exquisitely woven tapestry
有史以来编织的最精彩的锦囊妙计 伙计 of ideas that you've ever seen, man.
你的欺骗结束了 唐纳德 我们之间也结束了 Your deception is over, Donald, and so are we.
这个孩子必须出生 This child will be born.
这一次 你必须为 And for once, you are going to have to live
你的所作所为付出代价 with the consequences of your actions.
离我的总统远一点 兄弟 Keep your hands off my president, bro.
哇 是耶稣基督！ Whoa! It's Jesus Christ!
诶！ Aww!
这可是个伟人 This happens to be a great man
他正在保护我们的国家免受同性恋侵害 who's protecting our country from fags.
耶稣怎么了? What the hell happened to Jesus?
他现在完全比基督还基督了 He's all Christian now.
这家伙是个彻头彻尾的骗子 我会收拾他的！ This man is a con artist, and I will deal with him!
想得美 兄弟！ Don't think so, bro!
耶！美国！喔！ Yeah! America! Whoo!
哦 我的天 这简直越来越疯狂了 Oh, my God, this just keeps getting crazier.
怎么了 撒旦？ What's wrong, Satan?
是宝宝 我感觉他要出生了 It's the baby. I think it's coming.
-哇 各位 时候到了 -我们该怎么做 斯坦？ -Oh, wow, y'all, it's time! -What do we do, Stan?
我不道啊！ I don't know!
你们必须把他送医院！ You gotta get him to a hospital!
哦 天啊 婴儿马上就要隆重地“拉出来”了 Oh, boy! The big crap-out is almost here!
我等不及了！ 我等不及了！ I can hardly wait! Can hardly wait!
看 是医生！ Look, it's the doctor!
耶！ Yay!
好了 我们差不多准备好了 All right, we're almost ready.
先做个快速的B超检查 We just wanna run a quick ultrasound
然后我们就进手术室 and we'll get you into the OR.
医生 我们必须快点 有邪恶的力量在作祟 Doctor, we must hurry. There are evil forces at work.
太好了！这家伙太厉害了！ All right! This guy's incredible!
好吧！现在把彼得蒂尔释放出来 OK, now set Peter Thiel free!
-总统先生 发生什么了？-不知道！ -Mr. President! What happened? -I don't know!
我又找了个基督教的蠢货来帮我达成目的 I got another Christian dipshit to help me get what I want!
上啊 基督教徒！ Let's go, Christianity!
那么我们可以继续了 Then we can proceed.
我们时间不多了 We have very little time to stop
必须阻止敌基督的降临 the antichrist from coming.
老大 我只想和您说一声 Boss, just so you know
我才不在乎我的屁眼里面是不是长满了尖锐湿疣 I don't care if my asshole is filled with genital warts.
我依然爱你 I still love you.
我不敢相信他竟然是 I can't believe he turned out to be
这么烂的一坨屎 this big of a piece a shit.
我总是栽在最烂的男人手里 I seriously fall for the worst guys.
好了好了 撒旦 你需要保留体力 Now, now, Satan, you need to save your strength!
我的意思是 我知道他烂透了 好吗？ I mean, I knew he sucked, OK?
我早就知道了 但我没想到他会烂到这种地步 I knew it, but I didn't think he would go this far.
-我真蠢 -不！你才不蠢！ -I am so stupid. -No! You're not stupid!
斯坦 告诉撒旦他不蠢 Stanny, tell Satan he's not stupid.
-你一点都不蠢 -不 我很蠢！ -You're not stupid. -No, I'm stupid!
我明明看到了他是怎么对待别人的 I saw how he treated everyone
但我还是选择视而不见 but I was willing to look the other way.
只因为我想要我的那个圣诞奇迹 All because I just wanted my Christmas miracle.
你的圣诞奇迹？ Your Christmas miracle?
我的小宝宝 My little baby.
我生命中唯一真正美好的东西 The only thing in my life that could actually be good.
但现在唐纳德有了耶稣撑腰 But now Donald has Jesus on his side
我们永远也别想翻身了 and we'll never be free.
撒旦说的对 Satan's right.
如果总统有耶稣撑腰 他就所向无敌了 If the President has Jesus on his side, he's unstoppable!
他们来到这里毁掉一切 It's only a matter of time
只是时间问题 before they come here and ruin everything.
诶！ Aww!
别灰心 各位 Now, don't be down, y'all.
-我们有自己的秘密武器 -是啊！ -We have our own secret weapon. -That's right!
他们也许有耶稣 但我们有斯坦 They might have Jesus, but we've got Stan!
耶！ Yay!
多么特别的时刻 这是个特别的日子 What a special time, it's a special day
是森林小动物圣诞节 It's a Woodland Critter Christmas
拉出来！ 耶！上啊！ Crap-out! Yeah! Let's go!
冲啊！ Let's do this!
哦 不 他们来…来了！ Oh, no, here they c-c-c-come!
我们该怎么办？ What are we gonna do?
6-7号房在哪？ Where is room 6-7?
谢谢！ Thank you!
-嘿 小子！ 闪开！ -不！ -Hey, kid! Get out of the way! -No.
如果你们想动撒旦 你们得先过我们这一关 If you wanna get to Satan, you'll have to go through us.
我完全接受他“拉出来” I am fully embracing this crap-out.
耶！ Yay!
别听这些黑暗生物的蛊惑 孩子！ Do not listen to these foul creatures of darkness, child!
我不知道该听谁的 I don't know who to listen to anymore.
我只知道 我还不如帮助别人 All I know is, I might as well help someone
实现他们的圣诞奇迹 get their Christmas miracle.
因为没有人会帮我实现我的 'Cause nobody's helping me with mine.
至少那曾经是圣诞节的意义 At least that's what Christmas used to mean.
尝试去帮助那些 Trying to make things a little easier
需要被帮助的人 for someone else who needed it.
我不知道 I don't know what happened
你的圣诞精神去哪了 耶稣 to your Spirit of Christmas, Jesus.
接受吧 你放弃了 你比家暴男都还堕落 Let's face it, you gave up, and now you've hit rock bottom.
喂 我没家暴 好不好？ Hey, I didn't hit her, OK?
那个 好吧 我确实打了她！ I mean, all right, maybe I did!
但那是佩吉自找的！ But Peggy was asking' for it!
那根本不是我刚才想说的重点！ That's actually not at all what I was talking about.
不 你是对的 No. You're right.
你是对的 我的孩子 You're right, my child.
我放弃了 也失去了信念 I gave up and I lost faith.
我不想再这样下去了 I don't want to do this.
嘿 别忘了我可以起诉你 Hey! Don't forget I can sue you!
那你就去起诉吧 Then go ahead and sue me.
我不会再害怕你了 I'm not going to be afraid anymore.
打扰一下 大家 Excuse me, everyone.
抱歉打断了你们 Sorry--sorry to interrupt
但我们有很坏的消息 but I'm afraid we have some really bad news.
-什么？-发生了什么？ -What? -What? What happened?
我们看了超声波检查结果 We've looked at the ultrasound, and...
似乎 在无人在意的角落 it appears that at some point when nobody was watching
胎儿自己上吊自杀了 the baby hung itself and took its own life.
-什么？-你在说什么？ -What? -What are you talking about?
很抱歉 但视频里就是这样显示的 I'm afraid you can see it all in the video.
胎儿抓起了胎膜 The baby got ahold of some bedsheets.
※这段引射了2019年爱泼斯坦在等待审判期间 上吊自杀的事件
然后超声画面黑了几分钟 There's a couple minutes missing from the ultrasound
但是可以确定 胎儿就是自杀 but it's definitely a suicide.
你没在骗我吧！ You gotta be kidding me!
胎儿自杀了？ The baby hung itself?
老大！老大！真是个奇迹啊！ Boss! Boss! It's a miracle!
但这是不是意味着 But does that mean
胎儿不会拉出来了？ there's not gonna be a crap-out?
这是福克斯新闻特别警报 This is a Fox News special alert.
福克斯新闻刚刚收到速报 Fox News has just received confirmation
撒旦和特朗普总统未出生的孩子 that the unborn child of Satan and President Trump
已经自寻短见 has decided to take the easy way out
上吊自杀了 and end its own life.
这确实是个不幸的消息 Definitely an unfortunate turn of events.
福克斯新闻对超声影像进行了分析 Fox News has analyzed the ultrasound.
可以看到 这里胎儿很可能正在考虑自杀 You can see the baby probably considering suicide right here
然后…画面黑了几秒钟… and then-a little bit missing--
然后它就自杀了 and it killed itself.
自杀的证据很充分 Obvious confirmation of suicide.
可以看到 那儿还有一把小椅子呢 You can see a little chair there.
有时候胎儿就是会这样 Just what babies do sometimes.
对的 如果你或者你认识的某个人 That's right, and if you or someone you know
是一个胎儿 并且正打算自杀 is a fetus contemplating suicide
请一定要尽快和福克斯新闻电话联系 we urge you to call Fox News as much as you possibly can.
与此同时 我们所有人向总统 In the meantime, all our thoughts and prayers
致以最诚挚的慰问 are with the president tonight
他将在白宫 为他未能出世的孩子 Who will be holding a funeral for his unborn child
举行一场葬礼 at the White House.
嘿 圣诞快乐！ Hey, Merry Christmas!
你听说了吗？婴儿死了！ Did you hear the news? The baby's dead!
我们听说了 总统先生 我们深表遗憾 Yes, Mr. President, we are so sorry.
节日快乐！婴儿死了！ Happy holidays! The baby's dead!
你还好吗 总统先生？ Are you OK, sir?
不太好 我太悲痛了！来 抽根雪茄吧 Yeah, it's really hard! Here, have a cigar!
帕姆 你好！圣诞快乐！婴儿死了！ Hey, Pam! Merry Christmas! The baby's dead!
你太坚强了 总统先生 You're so strong, Mr. President.
你好像完全没有受到什么打击一样 And you're taking it really well.
谢谢你 帕姆！ Hey! Thanks, Pam!
我赢了！我又赢了！我赢麻了！ I win! I win! I win again!
给你 这是家里寄来的圣诞贺信 Christmas letters from home. Here you go.
他们祝你们圣诞快乐 Some Christmas joy from your loved ones.
给你 There you go.
嘿 今天也有一封信给你 Hey, there's one for you today.
亲爱的斯坦 我写这封信 Dear Stan, I'm writing this
是为了给你道歉 because I owe you an apology
以及说个谢谢 and a thank you.
你说想要一个圣诞奇迹 You asked for a Christmas miracle
但我没有听进去 and I didn't listen.
所以现在 去这个地址吧 So now, go to this address.
不会吧 No way.
谢谢你 谢谢你！ Thank you. Thank you!
我就在这里 斯坦 守望着每一个人 I'll be here, Stan, watching over everybody.
一定要做个好人 Be good.
而且要记住 永远不要放弃 And remember, never give up on the things
你坚持的事物 that you commit to.
他太棒了 对吧！ He's so great, isn't he?
大家圣诞快乐！ Merry Christmas, everyone!
愿我们都能度过一个愉快的假期！ Let's all have the happiest holidays!
*我信仰基督 我将恪守本分* A Christian Woman knows her place
*如果你愿意 巴掌朝我脸抡* So go ahead and punch me in the face
*这都是我活该 我罪有应得* 'Cause I deserve it, I was wrong
*所以我们在此 共唱圣诞歌* That's why I wrote this holiday song
*用我大大的假胸 注射的双唇* With my big fake tits and my Botox lips
*说着圣诞快乐 基督永存* Saying Merry Christmas, Jesus Christ
老头老太太们 大家一起唱！ Come on, seniors, sing along!
*我信仰基督 我将恪守本分* A Christian woman knows her place
本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
2、wiki.spcnwiki.top/zh（维基镜像站）
*如果你愿意 巴掌朝我脸抡* So go ahead and punch me in the face
*这都是我活该 我罪有应得* 'Cause I deserve it, I was wrong
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
2、wiki.spcnwiki.top/zh（维基镜像站）
本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
*所以我们在此 共唱圣诞歌* That's why I wrote this holiday song
*用我大大的假胸 注射的双唇* With my big fake tits and my Botox lips
*说着圣诞快乐 基督永存* To say merry Christmas, Jesus Christ
*我信仰基督 我将恪守本分* A Christian woman knows her place
*如果你愿意 巴掌朝我脸抡* So go ahead and punch me in the face
*这都是我活该* 'Cause I deserve it