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南方公园第27季第1集
登山开蒙
Sermon on the 'Mount
*我要去南方公园 快乐似神仙* I'm going down to South Park gonna have myself a time
*灿烂笑脸随处见 邻里谦虚无欺骗* Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation
*我要去南方公园 烦恼抛一边* Going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind
*日夜停车不用愁 嘘寒问暖把你念* Ample parking day or night, people spouting "howdy neighbor!"
*我要去南方公园 看我爽翻天* Heading on up to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind
*波霸妹子把手牵 咪咪大到我疯癫* I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
*快来南方公园 与朋友见个面* Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine
亚莉克莎 播放90.1 Alexa, put on 90.1
收到 Got it
正在播放FM90.1电台 Now playing radio station 90.1 FM
什么鬼 What the fuck?
妈 我最爱的节目不太对劲 Mom, something's wrong with my favorite show
它只有杂音 It's just, like, static
你最爱的节目 Your favorite show?
对啊 NPR 国家公共广播电台 Yeah, NPR, National Public Radio
那个自由派们哭哭啼啼到处抱怨的地方 Where all the liberals bitch and whine about stuff
它不太对劲 Something's wrong with it
哦小心肝 总统让NPR停播了 Oh, sweetie, the president canceled NPR
你说总统停播NPR是什么意思 What do you mean, the president canceled NPR?
它是有史以来最有趣的东西啊 That was, like, the funniest shit ever
我也没办法 亲爱的 I don't know what to tell you, hon
我的天啊 Oh, my God
伙计们 You guys!
你们一定不敢相信发生什么事了 You guys are not gonna believe this
美国总统封杀了NPR The president of the United States canceled NPR
-呃 NPR是什么？ -NPR是什么？ -What's NPR? -What's NPR?
它是有史以来最搞笑的节目 The funniest show ever where all the lesbians
所有的蕾丝和犹太人在上面唧唧歪歪 And Jews complain about stuff?
操蛋的总统让它停播了 The fucking president had it taken off the air!
我是说 这总统以为他算老几 I mean, who the hell does this president think he is?
政府不能封杀这个节目 The government can't cancel the show
我是说 他们接下来又要封杀什么呢 I mean, what show are they gonna cancel next?
它真的是最好的节目 It was seriously the best show
上面有一些墨西哥同性恋说唱歌手非常伤心 It had, like, gay rappers from Mexico all sad
因为巴基斯坦有女生被处以石刑 Because girls in Pakistan got stoned to death
猜猜她们为什么被处刑？ And guess why they got stoned to death?
因为她们被强奸了！ 'Cause they were raped!
这太搞笑了 怎么会有人想让它停播呢 It was hilarious. Why would anyone cancel that?
我不知道你怎么想的 但我很担心 I don't know about you, but I'm worried about
这个国家的未来 What this country's coming to
看起来每个人都变了 It seems like everybody's changing
觉醒之类的一夜之间成了禁忌话题 And suddenly woke stuff is off limits
我是说 现在每个人都反犹太 I mean, it's like now everyone rips on the Jews
而且一点事都没有 And it's totally fine
是吧凯尔 Huh, Kyle?
看见没 See?
凯尔怎么了 What's wrong with Kyle?
每个人都在摆烂 Everybody's given up
学生们请注意 Attention, students
今早将举行强制集会 There will be a mandatory assembly this morning
所有学生到体育馆报道 好么 All students report to the gym, mkay?
天啊 政确校长 Oh, boy, PC Principal
他还没放弃呢 He's not given up
好的 所有人 听好了 All right, everyone, listen up
都把嘴闭上 Everybody, quiet!
这个国家变得乌烟瘴气 There's some bull crap going on in this country
而我不会让这股歪风邪气 And I am not going to let it corrupt
染指这所学校 The environment at this school!
哦 开始了 Oh, here we go
现在 我不知道你们怎么想 但我受够了 Now, I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired
人们因为抱有同情心 Of the way people are treated
就被恶意嘲弄 And mocked for being compassionate
事态失控了 It is out of control!
在这个腐败的时代 There's only one thing that can bring some normality
只有他能力挽狂澜 Back to these corrupt times
他就是… And that is...
我们的救主 万主之主 耶稣基督 Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ
什么 What?
这所学校背弃真道 贪图安逸 This school has traded truth for comfort
竟然崇拜私欲和罪恶 And worships idols of self and sin
我们曾是一个信仰上帝的国家 但如今我们当面唾弃他 We were a nation under God, but now we spit in His face
然后疑惑为何万物分崩离析 And wonder why everything's falling apart
重回正轨只有一个办法 There's only one way back--
悔改 归顺基督 Repent, bow to Christ
否则你们必将与背弃神明的谎言一同被灭尽 Or be swept away with the rest of the godless lies
什么鬼 老兄 What the hell, dude?
为了扭转事态 In order to turn things around
我将成为一名坚定信奉基督教的校长 I'm going to be a Power Christian Principal
你们可以喊我坚督校长 You can call me PC Principal
现在 让我们所有人举起双手 So now, I'd like you all to put your hands together
欢迎耶稣基督降临吧 In welcoming Christ our Lord
你们好 我的子民们 Hello, my children
我是道路 真理 生命 I am the light and the way
伙计们 他妈的发生什么事了 Fellas, what the fuck is going on?
是的 很高兴站在这里 Yea, it is wonderful to be here
因为无论在哪里 有两三个人奉我的名聚会 For where two or three gather in my name
※《马太福音》第18章20节
那里就有我在他们中间 There am I with them
没错 That's right!
没错 就是这样 耶稣 That's right. Let's go, Jesus
太对了 Fuck yeah!
所以 今天过得怎么样 大伙们？ So how was your day, guys?
学校里有什么有意思的事情吗？ Anything fun happen at school?
没 没啥有意思的 No, not really
呃 就是耶稣在学校现身了 Uh, Jesus showed up
耶稣 Jesus?
确实 Yeah
耶稣在你们学校干啥？ What's Jesus doing in your school?
我也不知道 I don't know
我不觉得耶稣有被允许出现在学校里 I don't think Jesus is allowed to be in schools
呃 怎么说 但他确实出现了 Yeah, well, he was there
好吧 我想我得找个人谈谈这事了 Well, I think I'm gonna have to talk to somebody about this
嘿 最近过得怎么样呀？ Hey, uh, how's it going?
嗯 你觉得耶稣是被允许进入学校的吗？ Um, is Jesus supposed to be allowed in schools?
一般来说 公立学校 Generally, the idea is that public schools
必须保持政教分离的理念 Have to maintain a separation of church and state
所以他们不能推崇任何一种宗教 So they can't promote any one religion
确实 我也是这么想的 Yeah, that's what I thought
政府不能强迫我儿子接受某种信仰 The government can't force a religion on my son
公立学校可以讲授宗教相关内容 Public schools can teach about religions
但需要以一种中立的 教学的态度 In a neutral educational way
并且不能支持特定的某个宗教 But they can't endorse any particular one
这是一堂关于所有世界宗教的课吗？ Was it a lesson on all world religions?
呃 不是 Uh, no
我儿子说是耶稣字面意义上地出现在他的学校了 My son said that Jesus was literally at his school
那你可能确实需要担心了 Then you're probably right to be concerned
你关心你儿子的教育 你做的很棒 It's good you're looking out for your son's education
谢谢 Thanks
真好呀 能向一个人 It's really nice to have someone
倾诉这一切 To talk to about all this
别担心 No worries
如果你还需要其他形式的帮助 尽管和我说 Let me know if there's any other way I can help
我会一直待命 I'm always here
你真的太棒了 谢了 You're so awesome. Thanks
晚安 宝贝 Good night, honey
做个好梦哦 Have a great sleep
你的明天肯定会比今天更精彩 And I'm sure you'll do more amazing things tomorrow
巴特斯！ Butters!
巴特斯 过来！ Butters, get over here
兄弟 我和你说过吧？现在糟糕了！ What did I tell you, man? This shit is wack!
政确校长？ PC Principal?
如果连他都变了 那就一点希望都没有了！ If he's changed, then there's no hope!
我想我知道发生什么了 I think I know what's happening
我觉得“觉醒”已死 I think woke is dead
“觉醒”已死？ Woke is dead?
它死了！巴特斯！不会再回来了！ It's dead, Butters. It's gone!
你可以随便骂“傻逼”了 没人管了 You can just say retarded now. Nobody cares
大家都可以光明正大地反犹了 Everyone hates the Jews
也没人会反对使用同性恋蔑称了 Everyone's fine with using gay slurs
噢 这听起来不太好 Oh. Well, that's not good
不是不太好 简直太糟糕了！ No, it's terrible!
因为现在我都不知道... 'Cause now I don't know...
...我应该做些什么了 What I'm supposed to do
埃里克？ Eric?
今天又有更多的抗议活动发生 More protests today
因为政府正在更加大力地推动基督教 As the government pushes harder for Christianity
在我们国家的学校中普及 In our nation's schools
总统早些时候说道 耶稣的精神 The president stated earlier today that the spirit of Jesus
对于我们的国家是非常重要的 Is important to our country
以及他会起诉所有反对他的人 And he will sue anyone who doesn't agree with him
总统这他妈是在干嘛？ What the hell is this president doing?
他甚至表现得完全不像基督徒 He doesn't even act like a Christian
为什么他要强迫我们的孩子？ Why is he pushing it on our kids?
我告诉过你们一切都会乱套的 I told you this was all gonna be bad
但你们之中还是有很多人为他投票了 But a lot of you here voted for him
是的 我以前就给他投票了 Yeah, I voted for him
但我只看到了他会逮捕和起诉别人 But all I've seen him do is arrest and sue people
我给他投票只为了摆脱那些“觉醒”的破事 I voted for him to get rid of all the woke stuff
但现在那个蠢娘炮 只会不停地把钱 But now that retarded faggot is just putting money
贪到自己的口袋 In his own pockets
对！就是这样！ Yeah! That's right!
难道我们要坐以待毙 Are we just gonna sit here
眼睁睁看他破坏我们的自由吗？ And let him break every rule of freedom?
不！绝对不行！ No! No way!
多说无益！跟我来 Well, come on!
让我们去吧那个该死的臭婊子拿下！ Let's go get that son of a bitch
上啊！ Yeah!
上啊！上啊！快去找他算账！ Come on! Come on, let's go get him!
找他算账！ Come on, let's get him!
快去抓住他 找他算账！ Let's go get him! Come on, let's get him!
给我出来 你这个屎一样的混蛋 Come on out, you piece of shit
我们要让你下台 We're unelecting you
不好意思 你们介意离开吗？ Excuse me. Do you mind?
你以为你他妈的是在干什么 加里森 What the hell do you think you're doing, Garrison?
我什么都没做 I'm not doing anything
哦 所以你没有洗劫整个国家 Oh, so you haven't been looting the country
并用恐惧作为权柄来统治吗 And ruling by fear
就像中东那些无足轻重的独裁者？ Like some Middle Eastern tinpot dictator?
不 我只是坐在这里 No, I've been sitting here
和瑞克一起看白莲花度假村 Watching "White Lotus" with Rick
※指HBO讽刺喜剧《白莲花度假村》
但是你被重新选上了 But you got re-elected
他几年前就已经离开华盛顿了 He hasn't been back to Washington in years
他已经完全放下了 He gave all that up
他现在过的很好 He's been really good
但如果他在这里 But if he's here
那白宫里那个该死的蠢娘炮 Then who's the retarded faggot
又是谁？ In the White House?
嗯哼 Uh-huh
好的 Yeah
好吧 OK
总统先生 加拿大总理已经到了 Mr. President, sir, the prime minister of Canada
他想要见您 Is here to see you
总统先生 您为什么要给加拿大 Mr. President, why are you placing
设定这些新的关税？ These new tariffs on Canada?
你以为你是什么人 那种中东地区的独裁者吗 What are you, some kind of dictator from the Middle East?
一个中东地区的独裁者？ A dictator from the Middle East?
嘿 放轻松 你这家伙 Hey, relax, guy
我也只是个普通人 我们坐下来谈吧 I'm just your average Joe. Take a rest
加拿大的人民不应该被这样轻视 The people of Canada will not be devalued like this
嘿 拜托 Aw, come on
你也不希望我像轰炸伊拉克那样轰炸你们吧 You don't want me to bomb you like I did Iraq
我想你轰炸过的应该是伊朗 I thought you just bombed Iran
伊朗 伊拉克 不都一样嘛 Iran, Iraq--what the hell's the difference?
放轻松 老兄 Relax, guy
喂！喂！ Hey! Hey!
兄弟 你画的什么鬼东西？ What the fuck is this, buddy?
这是您之前吩咐过的画像 先生 This is the painting you asked for, sir
那为什么我的鸡鸡这么小？ Why is my dick so small?
但这是按照照片中的尺寸绘画的啊 But that's the size it is in the photo
把这个家伙带走 Get this guy out of here!
我要起诉你 I'm gonna sue you!
我要起诉你们两个 I'm gonna sue both of you
哈哈哈哈哈！ Ha-ha-ha-ha!
没有人可以在捉弄我之后全身而退 Nobody makes fun of me and gets away with it
嗨 撒旦 Hey, Satan!
我现在不想做 I don't want to right now
什么 嘿 放轻松 What? Hey, relax
拜托 撒旦 我一整天都在认真工作呢 Come on, Satan. I've been working hard all day
你才没有工作 You haven't been working
你只是在鬼混 玩你的那些无聊的烂梗 You've been doing your stupid memes and just fuckin' around
来这里 宝贝儿 Come here, guy
拜托 撒旦 Aw, come on, Satan
你知道你对此毫无抵抗力 You know you can't resist this
我什么都看不到 它太小了 I can't even see anything, it's so small
嘿 我他妈的会起诉你 Hey! I'll fucking sue you!
那让上帝去操你吧 God, fuck you!
求你了 撒旦 Aw, come on, Satan
不要这样嘛 Don't be like that
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
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本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
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1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
2、wiki.spcnwiki.top/zh（维基镜像站）
本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
埃里克? Eric?
拜托 埃里克 Come on, Eric
你不能再这样下去了 You--you can't keep doing this to yourself
我曾经笑过 巴特斯 I used to laugh, Butters
我曾经过的很快乐 I used to have fun
但现在这一切都被夺走了 But now they've taken that away
我不再是特别的那一个 I'm not special anymore
所以我的存在又有什么意义呢 So what's the point in me even existing?
埃里克 你在说什么呀 Eric, what are you saying?
我说这一切都结束了 巴特斯 I'm saying that it's the end, Butters
我要杀了我自己 I'm gonna kill myself
和你 And you
等等 怎么还有我 Wait, me?
这是我们的自尽宣言 巴特斯 It's a suicide pact, Butters
我们最好现在就终结这一切 It's just best we end it now
不，埃里克，听我说 No, Eric, listen to me
觉醒精神不会被磨灭的 Woke isn't dead
它还在呢 就在某个地方 It's still out there, somewhere
我们只要等一等 它就会回来 Just waiting to come back
-它不会再回来了 -它一定会回来的！ -It's not coming back. -It's waiting to come back!
它就像一束微弱的光 但终会再次闪耀的 It's like a little tiny light that's gonna shine again
你只需要再等一段时间 You just gotta give it some time
我希望你说的是对的 巴特斯 I hope you're right, Butters
但如果周二之前 一切没有恢复正常 But if it doesn't come back by, like, Tuesday
我会把我们两个都杀了 I'm killing us both
马什同学 我把你叫到办公室来 Mr. Marsh, I've called you into my office
因为我知道你对 Because I understand that you have a problem
耶稣进学校的事不满 With Jesus in our schools
我没有不满啊 I don't have a problem with it
我的意思是 我觉得这有点怪 I mean, I think it's kind of weird
麦奇老师说你在欺负耶稣 Well, Mr. Mackey says you were bullying Jesus
还不让他跟你在食堂坐在一起 And wouldn't let him sit at your table in the cafeteria
什么？我没有欺负耶稣 What? I didn't bully him
克雷格告诉他我们的座位已经满了 事实如此 Craig told him our table was full, which it was
马什先生 基督因你的罪而死 他还爱我们所有人 Mr. Marsh, Christ died for your sins, and he loves us all
只有一个真理 一个十字架和一个救世主 There's only one truth, one cross, and one savior
而你会在你的心里找到他 And you will find him in your heart
坚督校长？ PC Principal?
坚定基督徒校长 收到 Power Christian Principal, yes?
发生什么了？ What happened?
什么…发生什么什么了？ What--what happened with what?
嗯 你之前…表现得…特别“觉醒” Well, you used to be, like, super woke
而从去年11月开始 And then starting last November
※指特朗普上任时间
你开始变怪了 You started acting weird
现在你又特别信基督了 And now you're super Christian
我刚刚意识到 我之前所持的立场…没有希望 I just realized that the side I was on was...hopeless
而在绝望的的时候 人们会找到耶稣 And in times of hopelessness, one finds Christ
凡劳苦担重担的人可以到他这里来 Come to him, all who are heavy laden
※出自《马太福音》第11章28节
-他就使你们得安息 -我就使你们得安息 -And he shall give you rest. -And I shall give you rest
老兄 发生什么了 Dude, what's going on?
这都太不正常了 Like, none of this seems normal
这就是那种态度 That's the kind of attitude
在学校我们不会容忍这种事 We are not gonna tolerate at this school!
马什先生 如果你不接受耶稣基督 And, Mr. Marsh, if you don't accept Christ
那我就会把你开除 Then I'm gonna have to expel you
嗯 我很确定你不能这么做 K, I'm pretty sure you can't do that
这好像是不合法的吧 Like, I think that's illegal
不 马什先生 这已经不再是不合法的了 No, Mr. Marsh, it's not illegal anymore
都2025年了 好吗？ This is 2025, K?
已经没多少事不合法了 And not much is illegal
我接受耶稣走进我的心 I accept Christ into my heart
以及走进你的学校 And into your school
以及走进我的学校 And in my school
还要接受耶稣和你们上桌吃饭 And at your table in the cafeteria
我的桌子真没位置了！行吧 There wasn't any room at my table--ah
我接受耶稣和我们上桌吃饭 And at my table in the cafeteria
耶 Yay
哦 Oh!
*信仰基督* Faith in Christ
*我们正把基督带回* We're bringing back Christ
*基督可以把钱赚* There's money in Christ
*带回基督* Bringing back Christ
*基督可以把钱赚* Christ makes the money
总统先生 您的许多支持者 Mr. President, a lot of your supporters
开始反对您 Are starting to turn against you
嘿 告诉他们休息一下 Hey, tell them to take a rest
先生 你能和他们谈谈吗？ Sir, can you please talk to them?
他们真的很生气 They're really riled up
好吧 把那个给我 All right, give me that
嘿 放轻松 各位 Hey, relax, guys
嗯 你好 你到底在干什么？ Yeah, hi, uh, what do you think you're doing?
孩子们被要求 必须跟耶稣 Our children are being told that they have to sit
坐在一起吃饭 With Jesus at lunchtime
听着 伙计 你只需要放松一下 Listen, buddy, you just need to relax
所有的这些抗议让我看起来很糟糕 All this protesting makes me look bad
只要放松一下 Just take a rest
嗯 不 我们是不会休息的 Well, no, we're not gonna give it a rest
你他妈最好给我们 All the people here in South Park
南方公园的人一个交待 Want some goddamn answers
好吧 那我就要起诉你们整个镇子 All right, then I'm gonna sue your whole town
听到了没？还要你们赔50亿 You got that? $5 billion
哈哈哈哈！ Ha-ha-ha-ha!
他说了啥？ What'd he say?
他说要告我们 让我们赔50亿 He said he's suing us for $5 billion
他妈的 一群傻逼 Fucking stupid idiots
还想跟我斗？ Think they can mess with me, huh?
快来嘛 撒旦 Hey, Satan
我现在没心情 I'm not in the mood right now
又有个路人甲在我的Instagram上评论了 Another random bitch commented on my Instagram
说你在爱泼斯坦名单上 That you're on the Epstein list
爱泼斯坦名单？ The Epstein list?
这事还妹过去啊 Are we still talking "aboot" that?
那你到底在不在名单上？ Well, are you on the list or not?
很奇怪 每次有人提起这事 It's weird that whenever it comes up
你只是告诉大家要放松 You just tell everyone to relax
我没有告诉大家要放松 I'm not telling everyone to relax
放轻松 伙计 Relax, guy!
不 我需要心理咨询 No, I need counseling
你越来越让我想起我以前约过的另一个男人 You remind me more and more of this other guy
你和他真的很像 I used to date, like, a lot
就像是同一个人一样 Like, you guys are exactly alike
我爱你 I love you
天啊 Ugh
来吧 撒旦 Come on, Satan
呜呜呜！砰！ Vroom! Pew!
哦不！ Oh, no!
呜呜呜！ Vroom!
巴特斯宝贝 你的小朋友卡特曼来了 Butters, honey, your little friend Cartman is here
他说今天周二 你们有安排？ He said it's Tuesday, and you guys have plans?
埃里克？ Eric?
哦 不 Oh, no
嗯 你能跟他说我不在家吗？ Well, um, can you tell him I'm not home?
巴特斯 别这么社恐 Butters, don't be antisocial
去和你朋友玩吧 Go play with your friend
他在车库里 坐在车上拿着一根管子玩 He's out in the garage playing in our car with a hose
哦 不 Oh, no!
天哪 埃里克 Oh, God, Eric!
嘿 巴特斯 快上车 Hey, Butters, come on in
别啊 埃里克 快下车 Eric, no! Get out of there!
这边的门锁了 巴特斯 That side's locked, Butters
你得从另一边上 You gotta get on the other side
埃里克 你没必要这样的 Eric, you don't have to do this!
-关上门 巴特斯 -你不能… -Close the door, Butters! -You can't give up--
你把气都放出去了！ You're letting all the fumes out!
-给老子关上门！-行吧！ -Shut the fucking door! -OK, fine!
你不能像其他人一样放弃 You can't just give up like everyone else has
巴特斯 一切都结束了 Butters, it's over
你真的想花好几周的时间 You really wanna sit around for weeks
坐以待毙吗？ Waiting for a slow demise?
-不啊 -很好 我也不想 -Well, no. -Well, neither do I!
这样也太慢了 This is taking too long
给你 巴特斯 Here you go, Butters
准备好 我们要上黄泉路了 Buckle up. We're in for the last ride
行吧 All right, fine
快吸 巴特斯 Suck it in, Butters
我们就要前往觉醒天国了 We're heading for that big woke kingdom in the sky
那就这样吧 OK, then
现在播出的是 60分钟 This is "60 Minutes."
※CBS的一档新闻节目 曾被特朗普以美化 卡玛拉·哈里斯为由起诉
天啊 Oh, boy
卧槽 Oh, shit
哦 天哪 Uh, oh, God
科罗拉多州的南方公园小镇 The small town of South Park, Colorado
正在向总统抗议 Is protesting against the president
镇民们声称 总统先生 The townspeople claim that the president--
他是一个伟大的人 Who is a great man--
对的 一个伟大的人 A great man. Great guy
我们知道他可能在看 We know he's probably watching
我们现在只是在报道这个科罗拉多小镇 And, uh, we are just reporting on this town in Colorado
他们被总统告到了法院 That's being sued by the president
正在抗议 And they are fighting back
先叠个甲 我们完全不同意他们的观点 And just to be clear, we don't agree with them
对的对的 一点也不同意 No, no, no, no
我们觉得这些抗议者都是傻逼 We think these protesters are total retards
现在我们来连线记者吉姆·康纳 But our own Jim Conner has more
哦 天啊 Uh--oh, God
嗯 汤姆 我现在正跟镇民们站在一起 Uh--uh, Tom, I'm here with the townspeople
他们正在发言反抗总统 Speaking out against the president
这一切的起因是 一位父亲感到不满 It all started when a father got upset
因为学校强行让他的儿子接受耶稣 That Jesus was being forced on his son at school
年轻的斯坦·马什对总统的政策提出了质疑 Young Stan Marsh is questioning the president's policies
我也不太懂 I don't know
嗯 我不知道他为什么质疑总统 You know, I don't know why he's questioning the president
他大概是个小娘炮吧 He's probably a faggot or something
但是镇民们说他们不欠总统任何东西 But the townspeople say they owe the president nothing
我们再也不会让别人对我们指手画脚了 We aren't gonna be told what to do by anyone
我们都知道 觉醒运动已经做得太过了 We all know the woke stuff went too far
但走向另一个极端也不是正确答案 But the answer isn't going too far the other way
对别人有一点同情心不是坏事 It's not a bad thing to have a little compassion for people
关心环境保护也不是一件坏事 It's not a bad thing to care a little for the environment
我们斯多奇一家很自豪 The Stotch family is proud to say
因为我们有一辆电动车 That we own an electric car
天啊 这过程也太慢了 Boy, this sure is taking a long time
是啊 人体在弥留之际 Yeah, the human body does everything it can
会尽一切可能求生的 In the final stages to try and cling to life
应该没多久了 Shouldn't be much longer now
在南方公园小镇 Things are really heating up
事态持续升温 In the small town of South Park
越来越多的镇民们联合起来 More and more citizens are uniting in solidarity
按他们的说法 反抗总统的压迫 Against what they call the president's oppression
镇民们说 无论如何总会有转机 The townspeople are saying things are never hopeless
他们必须保持坚强 That they must all stand strong
为自己的信念而战 For what they believe in
我们要长期坚持下去 兄弟们 We're in this for the long haul, guys
这是在坚持正义 This is about what's right
即使我们必须独自行动 我们也会战斗 And we will fight, even if we have to do it alone
等等 我们不必独自行动 Wait, we don't have to do it alone
看 Look!
是耶稣 It's Jesus!
让我们一起进餐 Let us break bread
和我一起进餐 Break bread with me
这是我的身体 为你们而舍弃的 This is my body, given for you
※《路加福音》第22章19节
你们应行此礼 为纪念我 Do this in remembrance of me
现在 吃面包然后给我听好 Now just eat the bread, and listen
我并不想回学校里来 I didn't wanna come back and be in the school
但我不得不这么做 因为这是诉讼 But I had to because it was part of a lawsuit
和与派拉蒙的协议的一部分 And the agreement with Paramount
总统要起诉你？ The president's suing you?
这家伙想干什么就干什么 The guy can do whatever he wants now
因为现在有人退下了 知道吗？ That someone backed down, OK?
吃面包 吃面包 Eat the bread. Eat the bread
你们看到哥伦比亚广播公司发生什么事了吗？ You guys saw what happened to CBS?
※指CBS旗下的《斯蒂芬·科尔伯特晚间秀》 疑因讽刺特朗普被停播 但实为营收不佳
是啊 猜猜谁拥有哥伦比亚？ Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS?
派拉蒙 Paramount!
你真的想要最终像科尔伯特一样吗 Do you really wanna end up like Colbert?
你们别再犯傻了 You guys gotta stop being stupid
我们理解不了你 We can't understand you
闭嘴 Just shut up
不然我们就要被停播了 你们这些白痴 Or we're going to get canceled, you idiots
他到底在说什么？ What the hell is he saying?
汤姆 他们称之为登山宝训 Tom, they're calling it the Sermon on the Mount
数百名的南方公园忠实信徒涌向该地区 Hundreds of South Park faithful are flocking to the area
耶稣基督继续在那里讲他的智慧之言 Where Jesus Christ continues to speak his words of wisdom
如果有人拥有总统的权力 If someone has the power of the presidency
也利用权力起诉和受贿 And also has the power to sue and take bribes
那他就可以对任何人做任何事 Then he can do anything to anyone!
这就是他妈的总统 老兄 It's the fucking president, dude
你们所有人他妈的闭嘴 不然南方公园就要完蛋了 All of you, shut the fuck up, or South Park is over
他妈的结束了 It's fucking over
停下来 给我他妈的闭嘴 Just stop and shut the fuck up
是的 先生 Ye--yes, sir
好的 OK
一定一定 Absolutely
是的 谢谢 总统先生 Yes, thank you, Mr. President
我们很乐意付钱 先生 We'll be happy to pay that, sir
是的 先生 我… Yes, sir. I--
我会放松并且休息一下 I will relax, and I'll take a rest
是的 谢谢您 Yes, thank you
非常感谢您 Thank you very much
好的 我们解决了 OK, we settled
我们解决了 Oh, we settled
感谢上帝 Thank God
我让总统先生把赔偿降到了350万美元 I got the president down to $3.5 million
350万？还…还好 $3.5 million? That's--that's not so bad
那真的很公平 我认为那是公平的 That's really fair. I think that's fair
我们只需要削减一些 We'll just have to cut some funding
投给我们学校 医院和道路的资金 For our schools and hospitals and roads
那样应该就行了 嗯 And that should be that. Yeah
好的 OK
嗯 那个 这并不是所有的条件 Yeah, well, that's not quite all
作为和解的一部分 我们必须同意 As part of the settlement, we also had to agree
进行支持特朗普的宣传 To doing pro-Trump messaging
我们到底该怎么进行支持特朗普的宣传？ How are we supposed to do pro-Trump messaging?
哦 拜托 各位 Oh, come on, guys
我们可是南方公园 We're South Park!
我们可以做到的 We can do it
是啊！好的 他是对的 Yeah. All right. He's right
我们只需要一起努力 We just gotta work together. Yeah!
好的！就这么干！ All right! Yeah! Yeah!
谁为你穿梭沙漠？ Who walked through the desert for you?
谁在荒野中求生？ Who survived the wilderness
谁做出了最大的牺牲？ And gave the ultimate sacrifice?
当事态升温 谁能让我们脱离诱惑？ When things heat up, who will deliver us from temptation?
唐纳德·特朗普 Donald J. Trump
不管有多热 No matter how hot it gets
他也不畏惧为美国而战 He's not afraid to fight for America
有了信念 纪律和对上帝的信念 With conviction, discipline, and trust in God
他成功走出了沙漠 He survived the desert
我是唐纳德·鸡鸡·特朗普 我为自己代言 I'm Donald J. Trump, and I endorse this message
特朗普 Trump--
他的鸡鸡很小 His penis is teeny tiny
但他对我们的爱很大 But his love for us is large
他感动了我们
我们所有人
我感觉我可能要死了 Oh, I think I might be going
是啊 甜蜜的死亡要降临了 Yep, sweet death is about to come
我爱你 哥们儿 I love you, man
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