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南方公园第27季第2集
兜兜赚赚
Got A Nut
*我要去南方公园 快乐似神仙* I'm going down to South Park gonna have myself a time
*灿烂笑脸随处见 邻里谦虚无欺骗* Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation
*我要去南方公园 烦恼抛一边* Going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind
*日夜停车不用愁 嘘寒问暖把你念* Ample parking day or night, people spouting "howdy neighbor!"
*我要去南方公园 看我爽翻天* Heading on up to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind
*波霸妹子把手牵 咪咪大到我疯癫* I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
*快来南方公园 与朋友见个面* Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine
他这次做的也太过分了 老兄 He's gone too far this time, dude
他的那些关于犹太人的言论已经失控了 The stuff he's saying about Jews is out of control
伙计 你别理他就是了 Bro, you just got to ignore him
但是当他在播客上说这些的时候 Bro, it's pretty hard to ignore him
真的很难做到熟视无睹 When he's saying it all on a podcast
他真的说所有的女人都是妓女 He actually said that all women are whores
还有我们唯一擅长的事情是谋杀婴儿 And the only thing we're good at is murdering babies
听着 大伙 别理他就行了 Look, guys, just leave it alone
不要花更多的注意力在这上面了 Don't give him any more attention
你说得倒挺容易 老兄 That's easy for you to say, dude
是啊 你又不是他吐槽的那些 Yeah, you are one of the multitudes of groups
群体中的一员 He's spewing his stupid shit about
嘿 大伙们 Hey, guys
你们在说谁呀 Who are you talking about?
克莱德 Clyde
克莱德？ Clyde?
是啊 还有他那个蠢爆了的辩论播客 Yeah, and his stupid debating podcast
嘿 他来了 Hey, here he comes
随你们便 各位 Whatever, guys
有本事就来证明我是错的啊 Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong.
你根本就不了解犹太人 You don't know a thing about the Jewish people
就是 也不要再对女生的身材指指点点了 Yeah, and shut up about girls' bodies
哇 这话听起来很有女的和犹太佬的风格 Well, that sounds like a very female and Jew thing to say
如果你们不喜欢的话 If you guys don't like it
怎么不来我的播客和我辩论辩论呢？ Why don't you come debate me on my podcast?
我们才不参与你那愚蠢的播客 We're not indulging your stupid podcast
就是 去你的 死胖子 Yeah, screw you, fatass
什 什么？ Wha-- what?
现在 作为你的辅导员 Now, as your counselor
我想要试着理解为什么 I want to try and understand why you're doing
你要做这些坏事 All these bad things you're doing
其他学生都对你的这个播客非常不满 The other students are very upset at this podcast
还有 是什么让你觉得你得 And what makes you think you got to say
说出这些话呢 克莱德？ All this stuff, Clyde?
嘿 我只是想保住我的裤兜 兄弟 Hey, I'm just trying to make my nut, man
你 你的裤兜？ Y-your nut?
是啊 你知道的 我们孩子现在过得很艰难 Yeah, you know, kids have it tough these days
我们要订阅Xbox PS5还有Steam We got Xbox subscriptions, PS5, Steam subscriptions
网飞 HBO 还想订购DoorDash Netflix, HBO, you want to order DoorDash
我的裤兜每周至少得支出60$ My nut's about 60 bucks a week
所以你知道的 作为一个孩子 如果你能做一个播客 So you know, as a kid, if you could do a podcast
说一些非常有争议性的东西 你就能保住你的裤兜 Say some really divisive shit, then you could make your nut
好吧 克莱德 但是还有很多事情 Well, Clyde, there's more important things
比裤兜更重要 好吗？ than a nut, mkay?
比如什么？ Like what?
嗯 比如做个好孩子 好吗 Well, like being nice, mkay
让人们欢笑 帮助其他人 Making people smile, helping people out
这就是我成为辅导员的原因 That's why I became a counselor
你好？ Yes?
麦奇先生 你得收拾你的东西走人了 Mr. Mackey, I need you to pack your stuff
你被解雇了 伙计 You've been fired, bud
什 什么？ W-what?
政府在减少学校里不必要的开支 Government's doing away with needless spending in schools
拿好你的东西 上次的薪水已经预付好了 Get your things. Last paycheck's up front
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
嘿 等会 PC校长 Hey, wait a minute, PC Principal
坚督校长 是的 Power Christian Principal, yes
我已经在这工作了26年了 I've worked here for 26 years
我们很感谢你对学校做出的贡献 We appreciate your service to this school
但是政府正在削减不必要的开支 But the government's cutting back on unnecessary expenses
好吧 有什么是比辅导员还要重要的呢？ Well, what's more important than a school counselor?
学校里已经有一个辅导员了 Schools have one counselor now
而且他是有史以来最伟大的辅导员 And he is the greatest counselor that ever lived
感谢你所做的贡献 现在 打包好你的东西 Thanks for everything. Now, pack your shit
但是... But...
那我的裤兜怎么办？ What about my nut?
大家好 欢迎来到 Hello, and welcome
克莱德·多诺万的播客节目 To the "Clyde Donovan Podcast."
欢迎来到真理的频道 大伙们 Welcome to the Channel of Truth, guys
你们不能相信犹太佬 You can't trust Jews
白人是弱势群体 White people are the underprivileged
以及女人就该待在家里 And women belong at home
我想在这里欢迎我们的第一个 I'd like to welcome our first guest
前来辩论的嘉宾 埃里克·卡特曼 To the debate, Eric Cartman
你他妈觉得你在干什么 克莱德？ What the hell do you think you're doing, Clyde?
我们在这讨论有关犹太佬的真相 We're here speaking the truth about the Jews
以及十分弱势的白人群体 And the underprivileged white class--
这是我的台词 That's my shtick
别闹了克莱德 你剽窃了我的创意 Knock it off, Clyde. You stole my idea
我可不知道什么剽窃创意 I don't know about stealing ideas
但我知道一些很不错而且 But I do know about some amazing supplement powders
-肯定便宜的健身补剂… -健身补剂？ -That are an absolute steal... -Supplement powders?
HE-MAN补剂能够很好地帮助你增肌 HE-MAN supplement powders can really help you
-以及变得 -你他妈在开玩笑吗？ -Bulk up and get... -Are you fucking serious?
人们赞助你就是为了看你整我？ People are sponsoring you for ripping me off?
而且这确实是帮你练出六块腹肌的最佳方法 And it's really just the best way to get ripped quick
所以现在就下单吧 So be sure to get some
以及 不要忘记带上话题#尊重克莱德的特权 And also, be sure to hashtag #RespectClydesAuthority
啥？ What?
所以在失业之后 我才意识到 So after losing my job, I realized
我真的得好好控制一下我每月的开销了 I really better get a handle on how much I spend a month
是的 麦奇先生 Yes, Mr. Mackey
从你的个人财务状况来看 Looking over your portfolio here
你每月大约有八千美元的固定开销 It appears you've got about an $8,000 a month nut
一个月八千美元？ $8,000 a month?
我不知道为什么我有这么多花钱的地方 I had no idea my nut was that big
这样的话 我们可以为你提供一份债务重组贷款 Now, we could get you a debt consolidation loan
取消你的流媒体订阅服务 Cancel your streaming services
更换你的手机套餐 Downgrade your phone subscription
将你的房产进行二次抵押 Do a second mortgage on your house
这样你的开销还是八千美元 And your nut's still $8,000--
一个月 A month
但我已经什么都不剩了 好么 But I don't have anything, mkay?
我找不到工作 I can't find a job
现在没有人雇佣辅导员了 Nobody's hiring counselors anymore
我还能做什么呢 What am I supposed to do?
呃 还有一些其他的工作机会 Well, there are other career opportunities
你有没有考虑过 Have you considered...
一份在I-C-E的工作？ A job with the I-C-E?
帮助你的国家抓捕非法移民 Help your country round up undocumented immigrants
ICE？我是一个辅导员 ICE? I'm a counselor
我帮助别人 I help people
我不会为ICE工作的 I would never work for ICE
我能理解你有你的原则 I understand you have to have your principles
但是他们为新雇员提供 It's just they are offering new recruits
大约十万美金的薪水 About a $100,000 salary
你-你说多少 Say--say what now?
你在找工作吗 Are you looking for a new career?
为什么不加入I-C-E？ Why not join the I-C-E?
我们现在有职位空缺 We have jobs available now
提供至多五十万美元签约奖金 With up to a $50,000 signing bonus
签约奖金？ Signing bonus?
我们不要求工作经验 We don't ask for experience
过来就好 Just show up
我们不在乎你是否读过书或是否成年 We don't care if you've read a book or grown up
如果你是疯子或又胖又懒 If you're crazy or fat and lazy
我们也根本不在乎 We don't care at all
我为I-C-E工作 我很自豪 I'm proud to work for the I-C-E
移民及海关执法局 Immigration and Customs Enforcement
如果你需要工作 If you need a job
这有一份工作 It's a job
等待着你 To have
现在请收看 克莱德·多诺万摧毁 And now, watch as Clyde Donovan totally destroys
那些自觉清醒的自由派学生 These woke liberal students
欢迎收听本栏目 朋友们 Welcome to the channel, guys
好像有很多哭哭啼啼的巨婴质疑我的正确 Looks like a lot of whiny babies have a problem
所以放马过来证明我是错误的吧 With what I say, so prove me wrong
呃 嘿 克莱德 Uh, Hey, Clyde
你说过犹太人从未发明任何好东西 Um, you said nothing good ever came from the Jews
但如果那是真的 为什么贝果这么美味呢 But if that's true, why are bagels so yummy?
-是啊 -就是！ - Yeah. - Yeah!
好吧 很明显你们已经被犹太人洗脑了 Well, you've obviously been taught by the Jews
这让你们对这所学校和这个国家提出质疑 To have a problem with this school and with America
所以我请问你 你如何定义女性 So let me ask you this-- what is your definition of a woman?
等下 你在说什么 Wait, now, what?
什么是女性 这是一个非常简单的问题 What is a woman? It's a very simple question
呃 女性就是女生朋友 Well, a woman is a lady friend
你知道的 会亲亲你的人 Who, you know, gives you kisses
你看 你没法回答这个问题 You see, you can't answer the question
但是一个人不是男的就是女的 But something is male or it is female
无论是科学还是圣经都是这么说的 Both science and scripture agree to that
所以这就是真相 下一个 And that's just the truth. Next
又一个觉醒的学生被完全驳倒了 Another woke student totally destroyed
我的天哪 Oh, jeez
你是不是曾经称呼女子足球队 Did you call the girls' soccer team
为一所马克思主义灌输工厂？ A Marxist indoctrination factory?
你说得对 That is correct
我们以四比零的比分战胜了男队 你知道的 We actually beat the boys 4 to 0, you know
你可以尽你所能抱怨美国体制对你的压迫 You can whine about American oppression all you want
但你正在使用的苹果手机却正是 But you're using an iPhone made by the free market
你所抱怨的自由市场下制造出来的 To complain about a system that gave it to you
在美国 女孩儿们过的轻松多了 Girls have it way easy in America
所以这就是真相 And that's just the truth
觉醒的学生再一次被完全击败 Woke student totally pwned
在美国 女性过的很好 Women have it good in America
就像黑人一样 Just like Black people do
黑人轻而易举地享有着一切 Black people have everything handed to them--
操你妈 Motherfucker!
我最讨厌别人偷我的点子 I'm sick of people stealing my schtick
※卡特曼这里扮成了美国右翼政客查理·科克的样子
如果这里有人将要成为一位辩精大手 If anyone around here is gonna be a master debater
那就是我 It's me
所以放马过来吧 So let's go
谁想要和辩精大手辩论？ Who wants to debate the master debater?
尽管来 那边那小谁 你来 Let's go. You right there
这是我见过的最蠢的发型 That's the stupidest haircut I've ever seen
你错了 You are wrong
利未记3:17中说在你们一切的住处 Leviticus 3:17 says it shall be a perpetual statute
这要成为你们世世代代永远的定例 For your generations throughout all your dwellings
所以你可以闭嘴了 贝蓓 So you can shut up, Bebe
你只是痛恨美国而热爱堕胎 You just hate America and you love abortions
麦奇先生？ Mr. Mackey?
呃 是的 在这儿呢 Uh, yes, r-right here
请坐 先生 Have a seat, sir
是什么让你想在移民执法部门工作？ What makes you want to work for immigration enforcement?
呃 怎么说呢 Uh, well
你看 我要保住裤兜 You see, I got a nut
好吧 你被录用了 All right, you're hired
带着这个去下一站 Take this to the next station
去进行体检和观看入职培训视频 For your physical and orientation video
好吧 这就完了？ Well, th-that's it?
现在你们要观看一个入职培训视频 You will now watch an orientation video
由国土安全局局长主讲 Featuring the Director of Homeland Security
欢迎新兵加入我们的队伍 Welcome to the team, recruits
我是克里斯蒂·诺姆 国土安全局局长 I'm Kristi Noem, Head of Homeland Security
哦 他看起来不错 好吗？很漂亮 Oh, she seems nice, mkay? Very pretty
几年前 我不得不把我的小狗射死 A few years ago, I had to put my puppy down
※指现实中克里斯蒂·诺姆杀死自己宠物狗的事件
直接射在它的脸上 By shooting it in the face
因为有时候做重要的事情 Because sometimes doing what's important
意味着做艰难的事情 Means doing what's hard
哇 哇 Whoa. Whoa
现在我们要求你们有同样的决心 Now, we'll ask the same determination of you
因为拘留和审讯别人 Because detaining and questioning people
并不容易 Is never easy
哦 天啊 Oh, God!
作为国土安全部的代表 As the face of Homeland Security
我将引领你们 I'll be leading the way
携手合作 确保每个人 And together, we'll make sure
都合法的居住在这个国家 Everyone is in this country legally
所以新兵们 让我们出发 抓住他们 So let's get out there and get 'em, recruits
齐心协力 我们一定能成功 Together, we can make it happen
希望你们喜欢这次演讲 We hope you enjoyed the presentation
请进入车辆 准备你们的首次突袭 Please step through to the vehicles for your first raid
请始终让你们的手脚待在车内 Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all time
上膛 新兵们！ Lock and load, recruits!
准备突袭！ Prepare to raid!
好吧 Mmm-kay
看看埃里克卡特曼如何驳倒 Watch as Eric Cartman shuts down
这些觉醒的自由派学生 These woke liberal students
哦 我的天啊 Oh, my God
是什么让你们认为你们有权 What makes you think you have the right
来左右我如何处理自己的身体？ To say what I do with my body?
让我问你们一些问题 Let me ask you something
如果一个孕妇和婴儿一起被杀 If a pregnant woman is killed and the baby dies too
为什么凶手会被指控双重谋杀？ Why is the killer charged with a double homicide?
因 因为人们有不同的信仰 Well, b--because people have different beliefs
这无关信仰 而关乎真相 It's not about belief. It's about truth
科学证实生命始于受孕 Science confirms life begins at conception
所以耶利米书1:5说 我未将你葬在腹中 So, yes, Jeremiah 1:5 says, before I formed you
我已晓得你 In the womb, I knew you
但道德就是这么要求的 But it's just morality that demands
我们要保护最脆弱的人 We protect the most vulnerable
所以那我问你-你认为生命何时开始？ So let me ask you-- when do you think life begins?
埃里克 你在里面还好吗？ Eric, are you all right in there?
是的 我很好 妈妈 Yeah, I'm fine, Mom
我只是在这里进行大师级辩精 I'm just in here master debating
好吧 埃里克 够了 Well, Eric, that's enough
从厕所里出来 Let's get out of the bathroom
我不能 妈妈 I can't, Mom
我正在和这些年轻的女大学生进行大师级辩精 I'm master debating to these young college girls
你太淘气了 埃里克 停下 That's very naughty, Eric. Stop it
妈妈 我好不容易才得到一家蛋白粉公司的资助 Mom, I finally got sponsored by a protein powder
所以我还得再进行几个小时的大师辩精 So I gotta master debate for a couple more hours
利未记9:1-8 别烦我 Leviticus 9:1-8. Leave me alone
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
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本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
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本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
好吧 新兵们 就这样 All right, recruits. This is it
我们要去一个地方 We're heading to a location
那里可能充斥着非法移民 That might be filled with illegals
让我们把这些坏家伙打倒 Let's take these bad hombres down
背包 Backpack
背包 背包 Backpack. Backpack
我是地图 我是地图 I'm the map, I'm the map
我是地图 他是地图 I'm the map, he's the map
他是地图 我是地图 He's the map, I'm the map
不许动！ Freeze!
哦 我的天 好吧 Oh, God. Mkay
我们只是来问话的 We're just here for questioning
合作 别做坏事--我操 Cooperate, and nothing bad-- holy shit
听着 我真的很抱歉 Look, I'm really sorry about this
只是 我的裤兜每个月都会陷入困境 你知道吗？ It's just, I got a monthly nut, you know?
我得保住自己的裤兜 I gotta make my nut
你做的很好 士兵 You did a good job in there, soldier
好吧 谢谢你 队长 Mkay. Thank you, Captain
我知道做难事很难 I know it's tough doing what's hard
但我们需要更多像你这样的人… But we could use more men like you in the--
※克里斯蒂脸部掉落暗指其在2011年左右被怀疑整容
哇 什么鬼？ Whoa, what the fuck?
你的肉毒杆菌注射 诺姆女士 Your Botox, Ms. Noem
哦 是的 治好我 Oh, yeah. Fix me up
治好我 Fix me up
又是做难事的一天 Another day doing what's tough
对 对 对 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
但生长在女人体内的生命不是她身体的一部分 But a body growing inside a woman's body is not her body
而是一个完全独立的胎儿 It's a completely separate fetus--
埃里克，你在干什么？ Eric, what are you doing?
很抱歉 妈妈 I'm sorry, mom
你告诉我去睡觉 但我又开始辩精了 You told me to go to sleep, but I started masterdebating again
这真是个问题 埃里克 This is really getting to be a problem, Eric
妈 你不理解 Mom, you don't understand
我真的很擅长这个 I'm getting really good at this
我的论点很坚定 I have my arguments down rock solid
这些年轻的女大学生完全没有准备 These young college girls are totally unprepared
所以我能改变她们 同时也能改变所有的那些 So I can just destroy them and also edit out all the ones
实际上反驳这一观点的人 That actually argue back well
这感觉真的很好 It just feels so good
我明白这种感觉很好 I understand it feels good
但这并不意味着你能一直做这个 But that doesn't mean you do it all the time
对不起 妈妈 I'm sorry, Mommy
把电脑收起来 别管那些 Put the computer away and leave those poor
可怜的女大学生了 College girls alone
好吧 OK
我今晚不会再出手辩精了 I won't master debate anymore tonight
听着 你可以称它为生殖权利 Look, look, you can call it reproductive rights
但老实说 如果婴儿可以说话 But be honest, if a baby could speak
它就会为它的生存而战 It would fight for its right to live
埃里克·卡特曼！ Eric Cartman!
对不起 妈妈！ I'm sorry, Mom!
汤姆 今天又一场上千人的抗议活动 Tom, another protest today, as thousands turned out
他们跑到丹佛市中心去表达愤怒 In downtown Denver to voice their outrage
反对I-C-E Against the I-C-E
这里已经失控了 This is just out of control
许多在突袭中成为目标的 A lot of the people being targeted in these raids
是善良 勤劳 非常忠诚的人 Are kind, hard-working, deeply faithful people
以及关心家人的人 Who care for their families
我毫不怀疑有很多很多的拉丁裔在天堂 I have no doubt that there are many, many Latinos in heaven
哦 这下糟糕了 Oh, this is bad
好吗？ Mkay?
记住 只抓棕皮 Remember, only detain the brown ones
任何棕皮终将绳之以法 If it's brown, it goes down
天呐 小心点！ Jesus, look out!
还有一个在这飞 There's another one flying over here
抓住他！抓住他！ Catch him! Catch him!
我只要问你一些问题 I just need to ask you some questions
好吗 确保你是合法的 Mkay, make sure you're legal
你是怎么上天堂的？ How did you get into heaven?
额 我对人们真的很好 Um, I was really nice to people
我还帮了各种慈善机构 And I helped various charities
听着 我对此真的感到抱歉 Look, I'm really sorry about this
但我只是想保住裤兜 But I'm just trying to make my nut
麦奇 我要说句话 Mackey, I need a word
是 队长？ Yes, Captain?
麦奇 你在这里干的很好 You did another great job out there, Mackey
我喜欢你的风格 I like your style
哦 谢谢你 Oh. Thank you
总统正在发放奖金 The President's handing out bonuses
去表彰那些新星 To recruits that stand out
而且我会推荐你 And I'm going to recommend you
去领下一次的奖金 For the next set of bonuses that--
啊！ Ah!
抓住它！ Grab it!
天堂再无巧克力皮肤 No more brownies in heaven
大家好 欢迎来到第三届 Hello and welcome to the third annual
查理·科克年轻辩精大手奖颁奖现场 Charlie Kirk Award for Young Masterdebaters
如今越来越多的年轻人 More and more young people today
正通过大师级的辩精 Are learning to fight for America
来为美国而战 Through masterdebation
我们在这里向一位勇敢的年轻人的最近的努力致敬 We're here to honor the recent efforts of a brave young man
在过去的几天里 Who has been furiously masterdebating
他进行了数场疯狂的辩精 For the past several days and has won himself
不仅赢得了这个奖杯 还赢得了去一个美丽的五星级度假村 Not only this trophy, but also an all expenses paid vacation
度假的机会 To a beautiful five-star resort
他证明了自己是真正的冠军 He has proven himself the true champion
请欢迎我们这个时代最好的年轻辩精大手 Please welcome the best young masterdebater
克莱德·多诺万 Of our time, Clyde Donovan
克莱德？ Clyde?
不！本来到五星级度假村的应该是我！ No! That's my trip to a five-star resort!
得了吧 埃里克 咱们走 Come on, Eric. Let's go
谢谢大家 Thanks, everyone
《民权法案》是一个巨大的错误 The Civil Rights Act was a huge mistake
而且 我不知道 女同性恋是上帝的可憎之物 And, I don't know, lesbians are an abomination of God
你窃取了我所有成果！ You all stole my schtick!
克莱德！ Clyde!
好的 OK
我收到了你的一些工资存根 We got some of your pay stubs in
让我们看看开销如何 Let's see how that nut's looking
嗯 看来你得到了一些奖金 Well, seems you got some bonuses
原因是抓了最多的墨西哥人 For rounding up the most Mexicans
嘘 Shh
我们不围捕墨西哥人 好吗 We don't round up Mexicans, OK?
我们只拘留那些可能的非法移民 We just detain foreigners who might be illegal
好的 OK
好 税后还有你的奖金 Well, after taxes and with your bonuses
看起来你一个月大约有10000美元可以花 It looks like you've got about $10 grand a month to spend
- 哦 是吗 - 是的 - Oh, I do? - Yes
你的开销每月大约12000美元 And your nut's up to about $12 grand a month
什么？ What?
但一周前我的开销只有8000美元 But my nut was only $8 grand a week ago
对 但你找了一份高薪工作 Right. But you got a good-paying job
你看 你赚的钱越来越多 You see, as you make more money
你的开销也越来越大 Your nut actually gets bigger
那怎么可能呢？ How is that possible?
没事的 It's all right
如果你能多拿几笔奖金 If you can just get a few more bonuses
我们可以给房屋融资，进行分割 We can refinance the house, divide that
这取决于你抓的墨西哥人数量 当然 By the number of Mexicans you detained, and, of course
加上任何你可能抓到的哥斯达黎加人… Compound any Costa Ricans you might incur to the--
所有人统统不许动！ Freeze! Nobody move!
他在那 Here he is over here
走吧 麦基 我们需要出去谈谈 Come on, Mackey. Need to talk to you outside
谈谈？谈什么？ Talk to me? About what?
到底是怎么回事？ What's this all about?
恭喜了 新兵 Congratulations, recruit
我和总统谈过了你的问题 I talked to the president about your accomplishments
他说他愿意帮你解决你裤兜里的问题 And he says he wants to help you with your nut
真的吗？他愿意？ Really? He does?
没错 That's right
我们接到命令要亲自送你上飞机 We have orders to get you on a plane
总统想当面感谢你 The President wants to thank you personally
恭喜 Congratulations
他邀请你去海湖庄园 He's invited you to Mar-a-Lago
海湖庄园？ Mar-a-Lago?
哇噢 Oh, wow
放松！别紧张！ Relax! Take a load off!
老大 有飞机从 Boss, the plane is here
移民海关执法局过来了 From Immigration and Customs Enforcement
我知道 笨蛋 咱们走 I know, stupid. Let's go
嘿 伙计 Hey, buddy
欢迎来到海湖庄园 Welcome to Mar-a-Lago
哦 谢谢你 总统先生 Oh, thank you, Mr. President
他又在幻想什么？ What is his fantasy, boss?
你不能滚蛋吗？ Will you get out of here?
听着 伙计 我想给你提供一个 Listen, buddy, I want to offer you
难以置信的机会 An incredible opportunity
你想不想赚比你想象中 How would you like to make more money
还要多得多的钱？ Than you ever thought possible?
嗯 我的裤兜已经很大了 Well, I do have a pretty huge nut
这正是我要说的 Now, that's the kind of talk I like
海湖庄园每个人都有自己的裤兜 Mar-a-Lago's for everyone that's got a nut
我要给你升职 I'm giving you a promotion
你可以使用海湖庄园提供的所有服务 You'll have access to all that Mar-a-Lago has to offer
我想让你成为国土安全部的新面孔 I want to make you the new face of Homeland Security
但是 总统先生 克里斯蒂·诺姆 But, Mr. President, I thought Kristi Noem
不才是那里的头头吗？ Was the head of Homeland Security
她以前是 但她的脸能把我吓尿了 Well, she was, but her face freaks me out
你觉得呢 So what do you say?
好吧 我确实需要一份高薪工作 Well, I do need a high-paying job
好极了 Excellent
现在咱们再谈谈裤兜的事 Now, let's take care of that nut for you
嘿 撒旦 Hey, Satan
来见见国土安全部的新面孔吧 Meet the new face of Homeland Security
哇 我的天！ Whoa! Oh, my God
我只想离开这儿 I just want to go
这里太恶心了 This place is gross
老大 你想让我帮你在 Would you like me to apply the baby oil
撒旦的屁眼里涂婴儿润滑油吗？ To Satan's asshole, boss?
好吧 呃 我记得这里有个误会 OK, look, I think there's been a misunderstanding
我要先休息一下 I'm going to take a little break here
嘿 来吧 Hey, come on
放松点 伙计 Relax, guy
哦 打扰了 对不起 Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry
背包 背包 Backpack, backpack
哦 天啊 冒险家朵拉 Oh, God, Dora the Explorer
打扰了 Excuse me
克莱德？ Clyde?
现在没空 先生 Not right now, sir
我已经受够了 I've kind of had enough
你在这儿做什么 年轻人？ What are you doing here... young man?
我只是尝试保住自己的裤兜 先生 Just trying to make my nut, sir
我不想要这一切 Didn't really want all this
哦 好吧 年轻人 Oh, well, young man...
我知道你在做什么 好吗？ I kind of know what you're going through, mkay?
我知道我们都有很多压力 I know we all have a lot of pressures
而且都想要好东西 但是 And we all want nice things, mkay, but--
但如果你做一些你自己都不相信的事 But if you're doing something you don't really believe in
只是为了保住你的裤兜 Just to make your nut
你会发现自己只会更难过 You're going to find that you just get sadder
尽管你的裤兜也变得更大了 And your nut just gets bigger
好伐？ Mkay?
是啊 Yeah
我想你是对的 I guess you're right
不过 你是谁？ But... who are you?
是个他妈的辅导员 I'm a goddamn counselor
那才是真正的我 That's what I am
这个地方不适合我们两个 This place isn't right for either of us
咱们去找能帮我们逃出去的人吧 There's got to be someone that can help get us out
※这条狗是2025《超人》中的“超狗”小氪
好啦 搞定 All right. Got him
嘿 克莉丝汀 做什么呢 Hey, Kristi, what's going on?
你想取代我 Trying to replace me
国土安全部代言人的身份 对吧？ As the face of Homeland Security, huh?
嘿 放松 伙计 Hey, relax, guy
谁能取代掉这样一张脸呢？ Who could replace a face like that?
你觉得我是个不能控制自己的 Think I can't handle myself 'cause I'm a lady
仪态万千还会让男人发疯的淑女吗？ With good looks that drive men wild?
快来 我们得离开这里 Come on. We're getting out of here
还有你 快来 You too, come on
抓到了 抓到了 We got it. We got it
又搞定了一次任务 Another job well done
噜噜噜 噜噜噜 Loo loo loo, loo loo loo loo loo
噜噜噜 噜噜噜 Loo loo loo, loo loo loo
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获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
2、wiki.spcnwiki.top/zh（维基镜像站）
本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利