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南方公园第27季第5集
满盘皆输
Conflict of Interest
*我要去南方公园 快乐似神仙* I'm going down to South Park gonna have myself a time
*灿烂笑脸随处见 邻里谦虚无欺骗* Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation
*我要去南方公园 烦恼抛一边* Going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind
*日夜停车不用愁 嘘寒问暖把你念* Ample parking day or night, people spouting "howdy neighbor!"
*我要去南方公园 看我爽翻天* Heading on up to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind
*波霸妹子把手牵 咪咪大到我疯癫* I like girls with big vaginas I like girls with big fat titties
*快来南方公园 与朋友见个面* Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine
好的 孩子们 都坐下吧 OK, kids, let's take our seats
在开始前 我们今天有一个有个嘉宾要来演讲 Before we get started, we have a guest speaker today
有请齐普林 请大家认真听他讲 Please give your undivided attention to Kipling
谢谢你 先生 嘿 大伙都过得怎么样呀？ Thank you, sir. Hey. What's up, guys?
我叫齐普林 我参加了韦贝洛童子军 My name's Kipling. I'm with the Webelos of America
※韦贝洛童子军是现实存在的美国男童子军的一支
我想向大家介绍一个绝佳的 I want to talk you guys about the exciting opportunity
加入韦贝洛的机会 To join the Webelos
-这人是男是女啊？ - 闭嘴 -Is that a chick or a dude? -Shut up
我知道你们之中有些人一定参加过童子军 I'm sure some of you were in Scouts before
而韦贝洛就是童子军的延伸 Webelos are an extension of Scouts
专门招揽五到六年级的同学 Specifically for fifth and sixth graders
大家伙 这人是男是女啊？ You guys, is that a chick or a dude?
-肯定是个小妞 -不 那肯定是个男的 老兄 -It's a chick. -Nah, that's a dude, bro
...望你也成为我们的一员 ...part of it as well
我知道你们可能会觉得 Now, I know what y'all might be thinking
韦贝洛以前是只招收男生的 Webelos used to be only for boys
嗯 现在他们也招募女生了 Well, now they also allow girls
而我自己 作为一个... And I myself, as a...
韦贝洛成员 可以负责任地 Webelo, can tell you
告诉你这是一个对每个人来说都很赞的组织 It's a great organization for everyone
我也不确定 大伙们 我有60%确定 I don't know, guys, I'm like 60% sure
那他妈肯定是个男的 That was a fucking dude
我打赌这肯定是个小妞 I'm definitely betting it's a chick
现在的比率是多少 What are the odds at?
看起来现在有40个人在打赌了 Looks like about 40 kids betting now
有55%的人觉得那个韦贝洛是个男的 55% saying the Webelo is a dude
所以我 呃 花的这两块钱只能赢五块？ So I'd only win, like, five bucks on a $2 bet?
你们大伙在说什么呢？ What are you guys talking about?
预测市场软件 老兄 Prediction market app, dude
你知道的 同龄人线上赌局 You know, online peer to peer betting
是的 这是在公共平台上的赌局 Yeah, it's social platform betting
人们可以随意下注 People can make any bet they want
然后其他用户就可以参与赌局 And then other users take them up on it
-真的吗？ -是的 这超爽的 老兄 -Really? -Yeah, it's pretty sweet, dude
人们什么都能赌 甚至赌学校里的东西 People bet on anything, even stuff here at the school
你看？ 校女子足球队周五能赢吗？ See? Will the girls' soccer team win on Friday?
这个月会下雪吗？ Will there be a snow day this month?
凯尔的妈妈会袭击加沙 Will Kyle's mom strike Gaza
然后摧毁一所巴勒斯坦医院吗 And destroy a Palestinian hospital?
下周学校的午餐会有马铃薯球吗？ Will school lunch have tater tots next week?
等等 刚刚那是什么？ Wait, what was that?
下周学校的午餐会有马铃薯球吗？ Will school lunch have tater tots next week?
-不是 是那个关于我妈的 -噢 呃 -No, the one about my mom! -Oh. Uh...
凯尔的妈妈会袭击加沙 Will Kyle's mom strike Gaza
然后摧毁一所巴勒斯坦医院吗 And destroy a Palestinian hospital?
为什么你们会觉得我妈可能摧毁一所巴勒斯坦医院？ Why the hell would my mom destroy a Palestinian hospital?
因为她是个犹太佬？ 'Cause she's a Jew?
男孩们 放下手机 Boys, put 'em away
你们知道规矩的 上学时间不能玩手机 You know the rules, no cell phones during school time
对不起 耶稣 Sorry, Jesus
不能玩手机 大伙们！ No phones, guys!
快把那个赌局撤了 死胖子！ Take that bet down right now, fat ass!
又不是我开的局 凯尔 I didn't put it up, Kyle
我甚至都没有下注 I'm not even betting on it
你妈不会这么做的几率是9:1 这是非常可怕的赔率 It's 9:1 odds your mom won't do it, those are terrible odds
真是扯几把淡！ This is such bullshit!
我要找出是谁开始的 I'm gonna find out who started this
然后把他们的屁眼都撕烂！ And I'm gonna fucking rip them a new asshole!
天呐 你只是在犹太佬面前提起加沙 他们就和你翻脸了 Man, you just bring up Gaza to a Jew and they flip out
这说不定真挺有胜算的 Maybe these are pretty good odds
你正在观看的是 福克斯新闻！ You're watching Fox News!
他们被称为预测市场软件 They're called prediction market apps
他们利用普通赌博法漏洞 Controversial online betting that's found a loophole
进行有争议性的线上赌博活动 Around normal gambling laws
以及 当然 现在这些应用上最热门的赌注是： And, of course, the number one trending bet on the apps:
特朗普总统和撒旦的孩子会是男孩还是女孩？ Will President Trump and Satan's baby be a boy or a girl?
是的 预测市场软件们 That's right, prediction market apps
最近势头疯涨 Are going crazy right now
在Kalshi上 54%的人赌他会是个男孩 On Kalshi, 54% are betting it's gonna be a boy
而在Polymarket上 则有60%的人赌 While bettors on Polymarket are at nearly 60%
这个恶魔人宝宝将会是个女孩 The demonic butt baby's gonna be a girl
打扰啦 老板 Hello, boss
又是一个给宝宝的礼物 Another gift for the baby
又是给宝宝的礼物？ Another present for the baby?
那我呢？ What about me?
大家都很期待宝宝的降生 老板 Everyone is so excited for the baby, boss
你一定也很激动吧 You must be so excited as well
额 嗯 确实 很激动 Uh, yeah, sure. Real excited
这件事确实会彻底改变你的生活 It is going to completely change your life, though
你在说什么呢？ What are you talking about?
嗯 当宝宝降生的时候 Well, when the baby comes
你得付出你的全部精力去照料他 You will have to give it all your attention
不能在玫瑰花园开晚宴了 No more dinner parties in the Rose Garden
不能打棒球 也不能旅游了 No more baseball games. No more travelling
也不能在海湖庄园潇洒一整晚了 No more long nights at MaraLago
嗨 撒旦 Hey, Satan!
你想在浴缸里泡热水澡的时候顺便来上几根香烟吗？ You wanna get in the hot tub and smoke some cigarettes?
泡热水澡和烟草都对胎儿发育有不良影响 Hot tubs and cigarettes are really bad for the baby
是的 我知道 但是别管这些了 Yeah, I know. Let's do it anyway
等下 你是想摆脱这个孩子吗 Wait, do you want to get rid of the baby?
我觉得如果我们把孩子打掉 I don't think your followers would be very happy
你的脑残粉们可能会非常失望 If we got an abortion
嘿 放轻松 老兄 Hey, relax, guy!
我可不想打掉这个孩子 I don't want to get rid of the baby
那最好了 因为我们不会这样做 Good, 'cause we're not going to
太棒了 Great!
吉米！ Jimmy!
噢 嘿 凯尔 Oh, hey, Kyle
见鬼 这究竟是什么啊 What the hell is this?
这是一个能预测未来的应用软件 That's a prediction market app
我是在问你为什么你会下注我妈妈会袭击加沙地区 I'm asking why did you bet yes that my mom would strike Gaza?
哦 是的 我确实投了点钱进去 Oh, yeah, I put some money on that
我知道概率不大 但我下注都会 I know it's not very likely, but I like to bet on
长…长远考虑 L...longshots
你就不该赌这个！ Why are you betting on it at all?
以色列和加沙的冲突是一个很严肃的议题 Israel and Gaza is a very serious matter
哦 我知道的 凯尔 Oh, I know, Kyle
我昨天在一次在线会议上讲了一个关于加沙的笑话 I told a joke about Gaza on a Zoom meeting yesterday
没有人笑得出来 And nobody laughed
我猜这可能根本不好笑 I guess it's not even remotely funny
哇 多么棒的观众啊 Wow. What a terrific audience
你们这些人到底都怎么了 What is wrong with you people?
你们甚至不知道加沙地区在哪里 Do you even know what Gaza is?
你们在赚这几美元时有没有真的关心过别人 Do you seriously just care about making a couple bucks?
你们知道我妈妈发现这些之后会怎么样吗 You know what my mom would do if she found out about this?
她绝对会抓狂的！ She would absolutely lose her shit!
关于以色列的争端已经持续了数千年之久 There's been a conflict in Israel for thousands of years
犹太人和巴勒斯坦人也不是 And Jews and Palestinians are not football teams
可供你下注的足球队 That you bet on
孩子们 收起手机 Guys, phones
对不起 耶稣 Sorry, Jesus
凯尔 如果你觉得这个赌局不公平的话 Kyle, if you think the bet isn't fair
你可以跟管理这些应用软件 Then you can just take it up with the company
-的公司举报啊 -我可以吗？ -That manages the app. -I can?
当然 这些应用软件可不是什么普…普通通的劣质货 Sure thing. These apps aren't r...run of the mill, rinkydink
负责运营它们的可是高度专业化的 They're all run by highly professional
战略咨询顾问 Strategic advisors
喂？ Hello?
喂 你是“预测市场的战略咨询师”吗 Yeah, is this the "Strategic Advisor for Predictive Markets?
对 是的 Yes, it is
呃 你们的应用软件里有一些 Well, there's a bet on one of your apps
非常具有冒犯性的赌局 That's incredible insensitive
需要马上被撤下 就现在！ And it needs to be taken down now!
哦 呃 我们所有的赌局都由CFTC进行管控 Oh, uh, all our bets are actually regulated by the CFTC
您需要和他们沟通 You need to talk to them
什么是CFTC？ What's the CFTC?
就是美国商品期货交易委员会 It's the Commodity Futures Trading Commission
是一个联邦政府主管部门 It's the federal government
他们负责审批所有投注 并处理出现的问题 They have to approve all bets and deal with discrepancies
好！我会打给CFTC的 Fine! I'll call the CFTC then
太愚蠢了 So stupid
美国商品期货交易委员会 就是这个 Commodity Futures Trading Commissionhere we go
您好 Hello?
呃 我打电话来是因为一个预测市场软件上的赌局 Yeah, I'm calling about a prediction market bet
它冒犯了犹太民族 That's offensive to Jewish people
哦 这听起来真糟糕 Ooh, that sounds really bad
如果你觉得被冒犯了 你可能需要和FCC沟通 If it's offensive, you probably need to speak with the FCC
※FCC：美国联邦通信委员会 （Federal Communications Commission）
FCC又是什么 The FCC?
呃 他们现在负责所有具有冒犯性质的事物 Yeah, they're dealing with all the offensive stuff now
是这个 我来帮您转接 Here, let me connect you
您好？ Hello?
这他妈的是同一个人！ This is the same fucking guy!
-谁打电话来 -是这样的 -Who is it? -Uh, apparently
有一个政府主管的应用软件上 There's a really offensive bet on an app
出现了一个很有冒犯性的赌局 That the government is sort of in charge of
我是软件的战略咨询师 And I'm like the strategic advisor
还是个政府主管的应用软件？ An offensive government app?
我得马上向总统先生汇报 I better go speak with the president right away
嘿 撒旦 Hey, Satan!
过来啊 撒旦 Hey, Satan!
你能下楼来吗 Can you come downstairs?
你想要做什么 What do you want?
快点下楼梯吧 Just come down the stairs real quick
为什么 For what?
快一点嘛 For just real quick
哦 你在这里 总统先生！ Oh, there you are, Mr. President!
我需要和您谈谈 I need to talk to you
哦天哪 不！布伦丹·卡尔 不要这样 No, no, no, no! Brendan Carr, don't
FCC主管的脚踝肯定不太好 The FCC guy must have shitty ankles
兄弟们！兄弟们！ You guys! You guys!
你们最近上打赌应用看了吗？ Have you checked out the betting app lately?
-还没有 -自从凯尔生气以后 -No. -Ever since Kyle got
赌他妈妈会进攻加沙的 All pissed off, the odds are going up
比率就大大提高了 On his mom attacking Gaza
-不会吧 -就是这样 快看看！ -No way. -Yeah, check it out!
现在有17%的人都赌她会这么做 Now 17% of people are betting she's gonna do it
我们可得跟进啊 兄弟们 We gotta get in on this, guys
老兄 凯尔的妈妈不会进攻加沙的 Dude, Kyle's mom isn't going to strike Gaza
对对 这我们都知道 Yes, exactly. We know that
我们还可以继续激怒凯尔 And we can also influence Kyle
把比率进一步提高 To get the odds raised even more
这就叫利益冲突 兄弟们 It's called a conflict of interest, you guys
这样就能凭空赚钱了 It's a way to make free money
这不是犯法的吗？ Isn't that illegal?
没错！我们只需要 Yes! All we have to do is make sure
一直激怒凯尔就好 Kyle stays angry
同时散布关于他妈妈的反犹太主义信息 And at the same time, go talk antisemitic shit about his mom
这样比率就能芝麻开花节节高 To goose the odds up even more
你们在说什么？ What are you guys talking about?
没啥 就是在说 Nothing. Just talking about
现在太多人讨厌犹太人了 这太糟了 How messed up it is everyone hates Jews now
-你还会觉得这太糟？ -是啊 凯尔 -You think it's messed up? -Yes, I do, Kyle
打赌平台居然允许这样的赌局存在 我很不理解 Why would an app allow a bet like that to exist?
这就是在用种族问题恰烂钱 It's obvious race bait
对啊 我现在就是这种感受！ Yeah, that's exactly how I feel!
兄弟 要不还是别说这个了 Dude, you might just want to let it go
听到没？“别说这个了” See? "Just let it go."
人们只会让你别管了 That's how people want you to deal with a crisis
他们根本不理解你现在面对的危机 That they don't even understand
对啊！就是你说的这样！ Yes! Thank you!
你一定不能放弃 凯尔 You can't give up, Kyle
这么说你妈妈的人真是太卑鄙了 It's not cool people would say this stuff about your mom
说真的 如果你都不支持她 谁又会呢？ And honestly, if you don't have her back, who will?
嘿 你们几个听说凯尔妈妈的事了吗？ Hey, have you guys heard about Kyle's mom?
哎哟喂 那个老妖婆对巴勒斯坦可是来势汹汹啊 Man, that bitch has it out for Palestine, let me tell you
我就这么说吧 幸好我现在不是 Well, I don't know, I would just hate to be
一栋巴勒斯坦医院大楼 懂吧？ A Palestinian hospital, that's all I can say
嗯 就这样 很高兴和你们说话 Well, anyway, good to talk to you guys
各位各位！你们听说过 Hey, guys! Guys, have you heard about
我朋友凯尔的妈妈的事吗？ My friend Kyle's mom?
哎哟喂 你们知道我们家孩子们 Oh, my goodness, can you believe all the crazy apps
这些天都在玩什么应用吗？ Our kids are on these days?
哎哟 谁盯得住他们啊 Ugh! Who can keep track anymore?
凯尔每天都求着我给他买新应用 Kyle comes to me every day with a new app
说他想要得不得了 That he just has to have
我跟他说 “下载应用就要花钱 I tell him, "That app costs money, Kyle
下载了过后还要花 "Then it charges you money
你哪来这么多钱呢？” Where you gonna get this money?"
是啊 要是有一个 Yeah, you know what'd be nice?
能直接赚钱的应用就好了 Is an app where you can actually make some money
对啊 Yes
要是这样就好了 That'd be great, wouldn't it?
那肯定是啊 Yes, it certainly would
那么 希拉 So, Sheila
你对最近的加沙局势怎么看？ How have you been feeling about the current situation in Gaza?
-啥？ -没事没事 -What? -Uh, yeah
就是探探你的口风 Justjust thought we'd sort of take your temperature
你现在是个什么立场？ Which way are you thinking about going with that?
啊 我觉得加沙的事很可怕 Well, I think it's all horrible
-死了很多人 -嗯哼 -A lot of people are dying. -Uhhuh
那你觉得你需要做点什么吗？ And do you feel like you need to do anything about it?
我能做什么啊？ What would I do about it?
就是说 没什么 对吧？ I mean, probably nothing, right?
你什么也不会做 You're going to do nothing about it
你是觉得 美国犹太人 Are you implying the Jews in America
就一定有义务要做点什么吗？ Have some kind of obligation to do something about it?
-冷静 冷静！ -你们就是想说我信仰不够忠诚！ -Whoa, whoa! -You want to vilify my faith!
-是吧？ -希拉 没事的 -Is that it? -Sheila, it's OK
又不是犹太人在和巴勒斯坦打 It's not Jews versus Palestine!
是以色列在和巴勒斯坦打！ It's Israel versus Palestine!
又开始巴勒斯坦那一套了 Here we go with the Palestinian stuff again
多读点书吧 And maybe if you read books
不要听好莱坞演员说啥就是啥 Instead of everything Hollywood actors say
这样你们就搞得清了！ You'd know the difference!
你要下注下哪边？ What are you putting your money on?
这个赌局确实挺离谱的 但她看起来挺气愤啊 I mean, it's a ridiculous bet, but she seems pretty pissed off
赌她不发动战争肯定输光 There's really no money to be made on betting she won't
你说得对 那就赌赢面大的 Yeah, let's take the long odds
所以这些应用才好玩啊！ That makes these apps more fun
-就是 -就是 -Yeah. -Yeah
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
2、wiki.spcnwiki.top/zh（维基镜像站）
本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
获取剧集资料，下载更全好果汁，请访问：
1、south-park.fandom.com/zh（维基主站）
2、wiki.spcnwiki.top/zh（维基镜像站）
本字幕仅供学习交流 禁止用于商业盈利
嗨 撒旦！ Hey, Satan!
我给你炖了点汤！ I made you some soup!
我不喜欢吃胡萝卜 I don't like carrots
没事 放轻松啦 Hey, relax, guy!
胡萝卜对你身体好的 Carrots are good for you
我不想吃胡萝卜 I don't want carrots
我已经在DoorDash上点了芝士蛋糕了 I ordered cheesecake on DoorDash
总统先生 我有很重要的事要找您 Mr. President, I really need to speak with you
等会吧 布伦丹·卡尔！ Not now, Brendan Carr!
撒旦不愿意吃胡萝卜 Satan won't eat his carrots
快吃嘛 撒旦 为你肚子里的孩子想想嘛 Oh, come on, Satan, you're eating for two now
胡萝卜对身体好的 看见没？ Carrots are good for you, see?
啊 布伦丹·卡尔 别吃！ Ah, Brendan Carr, don't do it!
这简直是我喝过最好喝的… Whoa, this is the best soup ever. I...
天哪！ Oh, God!
哇！ Whoa!
哇啊啊啊啊啊！！！ Whoo! Whoohoohoo!
啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！ Wowwowwowwow!
那些胡萝卜肯定是埃瑞璜卖的 Those carrots must have been from Erewhon
※埃瑞璜在S25E04也有提到 巴特斯的爸爸 给对手的马喂埃瑞璜胡萝卜使其腹泻
我今天出门 每条大街小巷 Everywhere I went today
每个人的嘴里 It was the same thing
见面第一句话 “你打不打加沙？” What are you going to do about Gaza?
搞得好像我们在美国的犹太人 Like us Jews in America have any control
能管得了以色列的破事似的 Over what's going on in Israel
为啥突然所有人都开始就 Why is everyone suddenly confronting us
政治问题跟我们找茬？ About the politics?
有人问过你怎么看待加沙问题吗 杰拉德？ Have people been asking what you think about Gaza, Gerald?
呃 因为某些原因没有 他们好像 No, for some reason, they were just asking
-只会问你怎么想 -看到没？ -What you think about it. -You see?
这完全是在反犹太！ It's just pure antisemitism!
我受够了整天被拷问关于 I'm so sick of being grilled about my views on Palestine
巴勒斯坦和哈马斯的看法 And my thoughts on Hamas!
然后再被那群压根啥也不懂的非犹太 And being judged for things that are centuries old
用几百年前的破事道德审判 And that non Jews know nothing about!
好吧 如果他们都认为我们该做点啥的话 Well, if they all think we should do something
-停下！-那你最好相信 -You stop! -Then you better believe
我不会袖手旁观的！ I'll do something!
那个 妈 我觉得吧咱们犹太人 You know, Mom, I'm starting to think that us Jews
最近最好低调一点 Should just lay low for a little bit
瞧瞧！我儿子现在觉得自己厉害死了 There! Now my son is complacent
在我的屋檐底下不容许这种事发生 This is one Jewish household that will not put up with it anymore!
妈 别这样求你了 Ma, please
别让情况变得更糟了 Don't make things any worse
更糟 哪还可能更糟？ Worse? How can it be any worse?
我要去揪出这一切的始作俑者 I'm going to find out where all this is coming from
然后让他们看看姑奶奶的厉害！ And I'm going to give them a piece of my mind!
别啊！妈！ No! Ma!
看 老板 又是给宝宝的礼物！ Look, boss, another present for the baby!
又一件给宝宝的礼物？好吧！ Another present for the baby? Right!
是不是很可爱 老板？ Isn't it cute, boss?
不过咱们得当心 We must be careful, though
猫咪可能对孕妇造成严重危害 Cats can be very harmful to a pregnancy
对孕妇有害？ Harmful to a pregnancy?
是的 老板 是一种叫弓形虫的寄生虫 Well, yes, boss, it's a parasite called toxoplasmosis
它能通过猫传染给人类 It can be transferred from cats to humans
然后造成许多并发症 And bring about some complications
弓形虫？ Toxoplasmosis?
嘿 撒旦！ Hey, Satan!
嘿 撒旦 你得过来看看 这太牛逼了 Hey, Satan, you gotta come see this, it's really great
干啥？ What?
啊！我还以为你在房间里睡觉呢 Ay! I thought you were napping in our room
不 我刚刚去做了超声产检 No, I had to go get the ultrasound
真不敢相信你居然没来 I can't believe you didn't show up
我感觉你好像根本不关心这个孩子 It really makes me feel like you don't care about this baby
嘿 你想多了 宝 我当然在意这个孩子了 Hey, relax, guy, of course I care about the baby
总统先生 我感觉我已经好多了 Mr. President, I'm feeling much better
不！操！布伦登.卡尔！ No! Fuck! Brendan Carr!
各位 各位！我成功了 You guys. You guys, I did it
你成功啥了？ You did what?
我讲了这么多犹太佬的坏话 I talked so much shit about the Jews
现在支持率已经上升到95%了 That I got the odds on the bet up to 95%
你确定吗？ Are you sure?
是的 快看 Yeah, check it out
我昨晚下注了1400刀 I put 1,400 bucks on it last night
直接满仓了 I am locked in
你哪来的1400刀？ Where'd you get 1,400 bucks?
我拿了我妈的借记卡 I just took my mom's debit card
登入打赌应用输入信息 Entered all the info into the betting app
然后把她的钱全梭哈了 And put all the money she has on it
她不会生气嘛？ Isn't she gonna be pissed off?
等我把她的1400刀变成原来十倍的时候就不生气了 Yeah, not when I turn her 1,400 bucks into 14,000
这可是最安全的投资了 This is the safest investment ever
不可能出问题的 Nothing can possibly go wrong
嘿！兄弟们 兄弟们！ Hey, fellas. Fellas!
兄弟们你们看新闻了没？ Fellas, have you seen the news?
凯尔的妈妈去以色列了 Kyle's mom's in Israel
真的吗？哦 哇哦！ Really? Oh, wow!
我才下的注！ I just put money down!
※本段大意：一名叫“凯尔妈”的 美国女性公开质问以色列总理 指责其损害了美国犹太人形象
老兄 你妈去以色列了 Dude, your mom's in Israel
我知道 I know
好吧 你得给她打个电话 Well, you gotta call her
得让她冷静下来 You gotta calm her down
我一直在试着联系她 I've been trying to call her
她手机在那没信号 Her phone's not working over there
凯尔 现在没功夫当缩头乌龟了 Kyle this is no time for weakness
不管你妈要干啥 Whatever your mom is doing
都只会让这儿的孩子更恨犹太人 It is going to make kids here even more antisemitic
你说得没错 You're totally right
是他妈的没错 Damn right, I'm right!
你得联系上你妈 You have to get ahold of your mom
然后让她冷静下来 凯尔 And tell her to calm down, Kyle
有必要的话去联系以色列政府 Call the Israeli government if you have to
我上哪去给以色列政府说？ How do I call the Israeli government?
找个外交官 找个大使 Call a diplomat. Call an embassy
随便哪个给以色列工作的都行 You just have to talk to someone who works for Israel
你好 Hello
你他妈的在逗我吧！ Oh, you have got to be shitting me!
-啥？-这还是之前那个预测市场软件的 -What? -This is the strategic advisor
傻逼策略顾问 For predictive market apps
让他把赌局下架 Tell him to take the bet down
什么？ What?
让他把赌局下架 凯尔 Make him take the bet down, Kyle
这赌局反犹太 你得为了 It is antisemitic, and you have to fight
你的信仰去斗争啊 For what you believe in
我之前投诉过一个具有冒犯性的赌局 I called before about an offensive bet
我要你们现在就把它处理了 And I want that bet taken down right now!
没错！ That's right!
哦 好的 我相信您的投诉 Oh, yes, I believe your complaint
已经在FCC主管的审核中了 Was being reviewed by head of the FCC
好吧 那FCC的主管现在在干啥？ Well, then what's the head of the FCC doing?
他死哪去了？ Where the hell is he?
卡尔先生？卡尔先生？您听得到吗？ Mr. Carr? Mr. Carr, can you hear me?
我们知道您是联邦通信委员会的负责人 对吗？ We understand you're the head of the FCC, is that correct?
好吧 呃 非常抱歉 All right, well, I'm very sorry
但您似乎因为接触了猫粪 But you do appear to have toxoplasmosis
而感染了弓形虫病 From exposure to cat feces
我们需要您休息一下 尽量不要动 We need you to get some rest. Try not to move
医生 联邦通信委员会的负责人会没事吗 Will the head of the FCC be OK, Doctor?
他的骨头正在愈合 His bones are healing
所以他可能可以恢复全部活动范围 So he may regain full range of motion
但如果弓形虫感染了他的大脑... But if the toxoplasmosis parasite gets to his brain...
恐怕他可能会失去自由说话的能力 I'm afraid he may lose his freedom of speech
哦 不！ Oh, no!
我们会尽一切努力 We'll do everything we can
卡尔先生 您为什么老是干涉我的计划？ Mr. Carr, why do you keep meddling in my plans?
我一直在劝总统 I've been trying to convince the boss
把孩子解决掉 To get rid of the baby
我是下一任总统 I am next in line to be president
那个孩子不能被生下来 That baby cannot be born
如果你继续干涉我 And if you continue to interfere
我会让事情对你来说变得非常困难 I will make things very difficult for you
我们可以来软的 We can do this the easy way
或者我们也可以来硬的 Or we can do it the hard way
你好 Hello
嗯 是的 请问这里是总统办公室吗？ Uh, yes, is this the office of the president?
是的 Yes, it is
有一个年轻人说我们的一个 I've got a young man who's saying one of our
预测市场赌注冒犯了犹太人 Predictive market bets is offensive to Jews?
哦 那听起来很糟糕 Ooh, that sounds bad
是啊 那听起来相当糟糕 Yeah, it sounds pretty bad
好吧 总统不在这 Well, the president isn't here
但是我差不多也算是一个特别顾问 But I'm, like, a special advisor
所以我大概可以把赌注撤下来 So I can probably get the bet taken down
哦 我也是一个特别顾问 Ooh, I'm a special advisor too!
哦 是吗？ 那太棒了 Oh, really? That's great
你能把有问题的赌注发给我吗 Can you email me the bet in question?
好的 我现在就发 Yeah, I'm emailing it now
哦 好的 我看见了 Oh, yeah, I see it
好的 我需要和打赌平台背后的 OK, I'll need to approve with the financial company
金融公司协商一下 退还赌金 Backing all the apps since the bet money needs to be returned
好的 谢谢 我会让所有犹太人知道的 OK, thanks, I'll let all the Jews know
搞什么鬼？ What the hell?
他们撤下了赌局 They took it down
我们马上就要赢了 他们却撤下了我们的赌局 We were all gonna win, and they took down our bets
这家应用程序公司怎么能这么做 How can the app company do that?
我在赔率9:1的时候加入的 I got in at nine to one odds
这简直是胡…胡…胡扯 This is b...bullshit!
是啊 这些应用程序太腐败了 Yeah, these apps are totally corrupt
伙计们！ 我的天呐！ Guys! For the love of God!
好吧 卡特曼 我只想说声谢谢 Well, Cartman, I just wanna say thanks
你知道的 这太疯狂了 但除了你 这里没有人 You know, it's crazy, but nobody else here
在乎我的感受 Gave a crap about how I was feeling except for you
哦 没关系 凯尔 Oh, that's all right, Kyle
我很高兴赌局被撤下了 I'm just happy the bet got taken down
现在这些变态都不能 Now none of these sickos can profit
从你妈妈的所作所为中获利了 Off of what your mom does
是啊 好吧 那些人 Yeah, well, those people
反正都会输掉赌注 Would have all lost the bet anyway
你什么意思？他们会输掉赌注？ What do you mean they would have all lost the bet?
是啊 我知道我妈去以色列的原因了 Well, I know the reason my mom went Israel
不是为了轰炸巴勒斯坦医院吗？ It wasn't to bomb a Palestinian hospital?
不 当我妈离开家的时候 No, when my mom left the house
她说她要找到 She said she was gonna find
这一切的罪魁祸首 The person responsible for all this
然后好好教训他们一顿 And give them a piece of her mind
你不准和我这样说话！ You are not going to talk to me like that!
我非常难过 I am extremely upset
不把话说完 我绝不离开 And I am not leaving until I have said my piece!
你在这儿啊 内塔尼亚胡先生 There you are, Mr. Netanyahu!
你以为自己是谁 Just who do you think you are
杀了数千人 夷平了社区 Killing thousands and flattening neighborhoods
然后还拿着犹太教 Then wrapping yourself in Judaism
当躲避批评的挡箭牌？ Like it's some shield from criticism?
你让犹太人的日子苦不堪言 You're making life for Jews miserable
也让美国犹太人的日子不好过 And life for American Jews impossible!
哦 先生 别对我翻白眼 Oh, don't you roll your eyes at me, mister
你知道你在做什么 You know what you're doing
而且你是故意的 And you're doing it on purpose!
好了 现在你就坐在那把椅子上吧 Well, now you can just sit in that chair
因为我哪也不去 混蛋 'cause I'm not going anywhere, buster!
我参加了每一次家长教师协会 I've been to every PTA meeting
每一次学校董事会 Every school board meeting
而且我可以参加一整天！ And I can go all day!
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